The struggles and transitions of a girl, assigned male at birth, raised in an Ultra-Orthodox Jewish Hasidic family in New York City. Follow my "Second Transition" after successfully transitioning out of the UO community, it is time to fulfill the second part, escape from prison that is my body, and live as the woman I always was.
Learn about the struggles and adventures, the pain and the happiness of a two fold transition.
"When you transition, everyone kind of has to transition around you."- Chaz Bono
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!
The last few days proved to me once
again that I surrounded myself with the best group of friends and allies a
human being can ask for. From the second I posted my “Coming
Out” post, positive support, enthusiasm, and admittedly shock, was pouring
in non-stop. In the form of Facebook, comments, messages, wall posts, and
likes, SMS, WhatsApp messages and phone calls, all with the same love, respect
and beyond describable support. If anyone ever says anything negative about
humanity as a whole, all I have to do is redirect them to these posts.
Before I make some follow up points,
I want to re-post here what I wrote on Facebook on YouTube regarding last
Friday night. I still hope to write a longer reflection about my first ever
speaking engagement as myself, but for now, these are my initial thoughts:
Last Friday night I missed the weekly services at Romemu, for a good reason.
I had an amazing time speaking and engaging younger and older people at the South Orange USY Shabbaton.
It was an amazingly positive experience, and hopefully raised awareness for the
issues close to my heart, the ex-Hasidic community, and the experience of trans
people in the Orthodox and Jewish world, as well as all over the world.
Turns out, I was there. I got to witness firsthand
what being part of a community, especially as amazing as Romemu, entails. My
dear Rabbi and mentor, David Ingber,
gave a heartwarming sermon about my experience.
Every time I miss Friday night at Romemu I go back
after that to the archived LiveStream video, and listen to the sermon. As much
as I am pretty easy going in expressing my emotions and let tears flow lately,
I never ever had such an experience while watching something online.
From the beginning, Rabbi David retold my experience
in coming out to my father last week. Some of you might have realized that I
didn't mention anything in past days about my experience with my parents, and I
am going to keep it that way. However, anyone who listens to this sermon, can
get a sense of that experience, by thinking about Yakov (Jacob).
I am also amazingly honored that the inspiring quote
by Anaïs Nin that i used on Facebook and at the beginning of my blog post, was
mentioned in this sanctuary (at 13:42). It is so empowering, and needs to be
mentioned as much as possible.
But above all, was being mentioned as "My dear
friend Abby" (14:40). While I see myself as a student of my dear Rebbe, I
was proud to be called a friend. Then the amazing singing of "True Collars,”
I have no words (thank you Basya Schechter and
the musical team).
Thank you Rabbi and thank you Romemu. I want to
publish it so People should know that the world
is a great place. No matter how your community of origin, friends or family
treats you, it is important to know that there will always be people who will
accept you for who 'You' are, the true you.
-Please feel free to share this video: https://youtu.be/n5ybxvnm-CMw They are several points and
reflections I want to talk about as a follow up.
·I got in the last few days over a 150 private messages
(FB, WhatsApp, SMS, Email) and that is in addition to the numerous comments on
Facebook on the blog. I want you all to know that I appreciate it, and thank
everyone who took the time to wish me all the best. However, as much as I tried
to response to as many as possible, the backlog is pretty backlogged. It might
take me a few days to respond to all of them, and if I don’t get to it, feel
free to reach out again. Just know that I saw them all, and am beyond grateful
(on FB I tried to like as many comments as possible).
·A lot of people asked me, some in all seriousness some
in amore laughing tone when the Kiddush (a Jewish ritual were a Saturday
afternoon lunch is served as a way of celebrating an important life cycle, such
as the birth of a child, wedding, etc.) will be. So I want to get you all excited
and announce that yes, there will be one. It will be in one of the upcoming
weeks at Romemu. It will be with a full Torah and name
change ceremony. It will also be the perfect time to celebrate in person with
all of you, in person. Exact date is still To Be Determined, so lookout!
·I got several questions about my name, Abby, its
meaning, and why I chose it. First, I want to say that I am preparing a longer
article about that, where I hope to go into more detail. For now, I would just
say that I think the main part of a name is how it relates to ones self, so
above all, I relate to Abby, it just feels like me.
The origin of the name is the
Biblical Abigail (or Avigail) who was King David’s wife (Book of Samuel). Its
literal meaning in Hebrew is “Father’s joy” (אבי-גיל),
which is part the same as my middle name given at birth - Abraham (אברהם). I love the joy part
of it, and to be honest, it is a great Hebrew name that is American enough… In
addition to that, I see it as a wish, as it could mean “My father (referring to
parents and ancestors as a whole) should be happy” (אב-יגיל).
I hope that with all this I can be a joy and source of happiness to my family.
·A comment about blog comments:
While I would love to foster a free
and healthy uncensored conversation, I cannot afford to tolerate hate comments
and personal attacks on other people. You want to hate and talk against me,
enjoy, but leave others out of it. Obviously, the best way to get your message
across successfully is to talk about the ideas people said, and back up your
claims. Do not attack people, and do not just shout arguments without any
Until next time, wishing you all the
best with everything in life!