Thank You World - Friday Night Reflection

"When you transition, everyone kind of has to transition around you."- Chaz Bono

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!

The last few days proved to me once again that I surrounded myself with the best group of friends and allies a human being can ask for. From the second I posted my “Coming Out” post, positive support, enthusiasm, and admittedly shock, was pouring in non-stop. In the form of Facebook, comments, messages, wall posts, and likes, SMS, WhatsApp messages and phone calls, all with the same love, respect and beyond describable support. If anyone ever says anything negative about humanity as a whole, all I have to do is redirect them to these posts.

Before I make some follow up points, I want to re-post here what I wrote on Facebook on YouTube regarding last Friday night. I still hope to write a longer reflection about my first ever speaking engagement as myself, but for now, these are my initial thoughts:

Last Friday night I missed the weekly services at Romemu, for a good reason. I had an amazing time speaking and engaging younger and older people at the South Orange USY Shabbaton. It was an amazingly positive experience, and hopefully raised awareness for the issues close to my heart, the ex-Hasidic community, and the experience of trans people in the Orthodox and Jewish world, as well as all over the world.

Turns out, I was there. I got to witness firsthand what being part of a community, especially as amazing as Romemu, entails. My dear Rabbi and mentor, David Ingber, gave a heartwarming sermon about my experience.

Every time I miss Friday night at Romemu I go back after that to the archived LiveStream video, and listen to the sermon. As much as I am pretty easy going in expressing my emotions and let tears flow lately, I never ever had such an experience while watching something online.

From the beginning, Rabbi David retold my experience in coming out to my father last week. Some of you might have realized that I didn't mention anything in past days about my experience with my parents, and I am going to keep it that way. However, anyone who listens to this sermon, can get a sense of that experience, by thinking about Yakov (Jacob).

I am also amazingly honored that the inspiring quote by Anaïs Nin that i used on Facebook and at the beginning of my blog post, was mentioned in this sanctuary (at 13:42). It is so empowering, and needs to be mentioned as much as possible.

But above all, was being mentioned as "My dear friend Abby" (14:40). While I see myself as a student of my dear Rebbe, I was proud to be called a friend. Then the amazing singing of "True Collars,” I have no words (thank you Basya Schechter and the musical team).

Thank you Rabbi and thank you Romemu. I want to publish it so People should know that the world is a great place. No matter how your community of origin, friends or family treats you, it is important to know that there will always be people who will accept you for who 'You' are, the true you.

-Please feel free to share this video: https://youtu.be/n5ybxvnm-CMw

They are several points and reflections I want to talk about as a follow up.

·        I got in the last few days over a 150 private messages (FB, WhatsApp, SMS, Email) and that is in addition to the numerous comments on Facebook on the blog. I want you all to know that I appreciate it, and thank everyone who took the time to wish me all the best. However, as much as I tried to response to as many as possible, the backlog is pretty backlogged. It might take me a few days to respond to all of them, and if I don’t get to it, feel free to reach out again. Just know that I saw them all, and am beyond grateful (on FB I tried to like as many comments as possible).

·        A lot of people asked me, some in all seriousness some in amore laughing tone when the Kiddush (a Jewish ritual were a Saturday afternoon lunch is served as a way of celebrating an important life cycle, such as the birth of a child, wedding, etc.) will be. So I want to get you all excited and announce that yes, there will be one. It will be in one of the upcoming weeks at Romemu. It will be with a full Torah and name change ceremony. It will also be the perfect time to celebrate in person with all of you, in person. Exact date is still To Be Determined, so lookout!

·        I got several questions about my name, Abby, its meaning, and why I chose it. First, I want to say that I am preparing a longer article about that, where I hope to go into more detail. For now, I would just say that I think the main part of a name is how it relates to ones self, so above all, I relate to Abby, it just feels like me.

The origin of the name is the Biblical Abigail (or Avigail) who was King David’s wife (Book of Samuel). Its literal meaning in Hebrew is “Father’s joy” (אבי-גיל), which is part the same as my middle name given at birth - Abraham (אברהם). I love the joy part of it, and to be honest, it is a great Hebrew name that is American enough… In addition to that, I see it as a wish, as it could mean “My father (referring to parents and ancestors as a whole) should be happy” (אב-יגיל). I hope that with all this I can be a joy and source of happiness to my family.

·        A comment about blog comments:

While I would love to foster a free and healthy uncensored conversation, I cannot afford to tolerate hate comments and personal attacks on other people. You want to hate and talk against me, enjoy, but leave others out of it. Obviously, the best way to get your message across successfully is to talk about the ideas people said, and back up your claims. Do not attack people, and do not just shout arguments without any backing.

Until next time, wishing you all the best with everything in life!

Abby @ The Second Transition