tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61041753775106985392024-03-27T21:13:56.812-04:00The Second TransitionThe struggles and transitions of a girl, assigned male at birth, raised in an Ultra-Orthodox Jewish Hasidic family in New York City. Follow my "Second Transition" after successfully transitioning out of the UO community, it is time to fulfill the second part, escape from prison that is my body, and live as the woman I always was.
Learn about the struggles and adventures, the pain and the happiness of a two fold transition.Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-56503562171789388002020-12-09T18:25:00.001-05:002022-05-11T19:34:23.493-04:00Get My Book - "Becoming Eve: My Journey from Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman"<p style="text-align: center;">Get my book at:</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/abby-stein/becoming-eve/9781580059169/"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Get Becoming Eve</span></b></a></p><p>Contact Hachette for non-profit and bulk discount. E<span style="font-family: times;">mail: <a href="mailto:Customer.Service@hbgusa.com" style="background-color: white; color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Customer.Service@hbgusa.com</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">.</span></span></p><p>For speaking events email Kate Johnson: <a href="mailto:kate@wolflit.com">kate@wolflit.com</a> | Agency page: <a href="https://www.mwlit.com/abby-stein">https://www.mwlit.com/abby-stein</a></p>Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-22654853614276247922018-11-23T12:44:00.000-05:002018-11-23T16:23:40.764-05:00Rejection? A Stein Family History/Story (and, A Whole New Family!)<span id="docs-internal-guid-6e7b2fbc-7fff-c7e9-e573-b94f68db82b3"></span><br />
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-6e7b2fbc-7fff-c7e9-e573-b94f68db82b3"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Okay, I am officially weirdly obsessed with my extended family on the </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Stein</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> side - the one I didn't know existed till about a few weeks ago. The one my family </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">intentionally </span></span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">(I think)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> decided to ignore after the war </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(we are talking siblings, aunts/uncles, and first cousins, who at times lived within walking distance)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, because, well they weren't Hasidic or religious anymore. Almost shocked.</span></div>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-6e7b2fbc-7fff-c7e9-e573-b94f68db82b3"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "droid sans"; font-size: 14pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Read on if you want the full story (with </span><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "droid sans"; font-size: 14pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">some </span><a href="https://www.geni.com/" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "droid sans"; font-size: 14pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Geni.com</span></a><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "droid sans"; font-size: 14pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> links..</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "droid sans"; font-size: 14pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.) - stop reading if you think I am just a genealogical nerd.</span></span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDbxoIsZ1TIwg_v3DyhnF2n2Lev-G387y3LUxdAm7uXWOCNiogrFluIr4eHazYgOq6_nFgEg3zw7vWG7m5lqVb2-4jMqHkicAP2xVwtS2umKM37VNky8zuwIJ_o1axetpEHSSOcq7-Cegt/s1600/%25D7%25A6%25D7%2599%25D7%2595%25D7%259F.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="187" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDbxoIsZ1TIwg_v3DyhnF2n2Lev-G387y3LUxdAm7uXWOCNiogrFluIr4eHazYgOq6_nFgEg3zw7vWG7m5lqVb2-4jMqHkicAP2xVwtS2umKM37VNky8zuwIJ_o1axetpEHSSOcq7-Cegt/s320/%25D7%25A6%25D7%2599%25D7%2595%25D7%259F.JPG" width="119" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Great-grandfather's grave</td></tr>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-6e7b2fbc-7fff-c7e9-e573-b94f68db82b3"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The story starts with my great-grandfather, Rabbi </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Israel A. Stein</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(1916-1989 - </span><a href="https://tinyurl.com/IsraelAStein" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">https://tinyurl.com/IsraelAStein</span></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. He was</span><span style="font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">born</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vyzhnytsia" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Vyzhnytsia</span></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Modern Ukraine, the same place where his father and mother were born. As far as my family is concerned today, the only Steins that are part of our family are his descendants. More precisely, the kids of his 3 sons, one of which is my paternal grandfather. Of my great-grandfather's relatively big family before the Holocaust in Ukraine, only one sister survived </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><a href="https://tinyurl.com/MaytaRoth-Stein" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">https://tinyurl.com/MaytaRoth-Stein</span></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. She has a son who lives in Jerusalem, and we have a relatively close family relationship with him.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That was the extent of the living family we had, so I was told. And, my family, just like me, is quite obsessed with extended family - hell, my father considered every </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twersky" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Twersky</span></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, some of which we only shared a direct ancestor with ~150 years ago, to be a cousin.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On the Stein side of the family, I was told that my great-grandfather had 2 first cousins </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Leo</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hery</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, sons of his uncle</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Meir</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">:</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><a href="https://tinyurl.com/meirStein" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">https://tinyurl.com/meirStein</span></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">) who lived in the UK, and had no living kids; end of story. That usually came attached with an assertion, that if there was any additional family, even distant ones, we would know about it, because "we care about family;" and, that after the holocaust, even 3rd cousins were a big deal.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For years I had no reason to doubt this narrative, or to challenge it. Even when the assertion that "we care about family" went out the window the day I came out as transgender. </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Although, that should've been a sign. If an entire family can reject me for who I am today, what would've prevented them from having done that in the past as well? After all, some Hasidic families have quite strict "guidelines" of who can be part of the "family."</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then, I found them. Not one single far fetched cousin, not some 4th or 5th cousins - but a whole branch of aunts and uncles, first cousins, and an entire family of living 2nd and 3rd cousins, mostly living in Israel!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Only catch? they are ALL secular (as far as I can tell).</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It all started a few months ago, when I decided to look up my great-great-grandfather, whose name was </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Efroim Stein</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(my brother Efroim's namesake)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, on Geni.com </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><a href="https://tinyurl.com/EfroimStein" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">https://tinyurl.com/EfroimStein</span></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. I knew that his father's name was </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Joseph</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(and that his father was </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Eliezer Stein</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> from Vyzhnytsia)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and his mother's name was </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Chaya</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. We knew a few more details about this grandpa Joseph: we knew that he lived between Romania/Ukraine, and </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mannheim" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mannheim, Germany</span></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(something quite unique in the 19th century, when people didn't just casually move from Ukraine back to Germany - although the Stein family is indeed originally German)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. We knew that he is buried in Mannheim, which meant that he lived there towards the end of his life </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(he passed away in 1915)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">With all the above info, I set out to do some research.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I found another Efroim Stein on Geni - unique but still possible. I quickly realized that the same Efroim, was also the son of Joseph and Chaya. He was also from Ukraine/Romania. He was born in 1872 - all in line with my great-great-grandfather. It was clear that this is him, in a different family's tree!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Most interesting, he had a whole bunch of siblings, 5 full and 3 half to be exact. The names of his brothers, </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Pinchas</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Leizer</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Moshe </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">- are all names that I knew we had in the family </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(Ashkenazi Jews almost always name their kids after deceased grandparents - so names can tell a lot about a family's history)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Out of the 8, 6 have living families. Another telling detail was the fact that Grandpa Josef's grandkids' birth places - where listed - was split between Romania and Mannheim.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Turns out that Grandpa Joseph got remarried when he arrived in Germany </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(to </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Pesia</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">; </span><a href="https://tinyurl.com/PesiaK-Stein" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">https://tinyurl.com/PesiaK-Stein</span></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, had 3 more kids, and some of his kids from his first wife, Chaya </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(Who passed away in Ukraine, and is buried there)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> also ended up with him in Mannheim. Turns out that the last of his kids passed away in 1961 in Israel, and the last of his grandkids, as far as I can tell, in 2004 </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><a href="https://tinyurl.com/MendelStein" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">https://tinyurl.com/MendelStein</span></a><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What that means is as follows </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(just a few examples)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">: My great-grandfather's mother, </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rachel Stein</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(née Fogel)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, who passed away in 1958 </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">(and is buried on Har HaMenuchot in Jerusalem)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and lived in Jerusalem her last years, had a BROTHER-in-law, who lived just a few miles from her, and as far as I am aware, they had no relationship </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(sounds familiar?)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. My grandparents, who got married in Jerusalem in 1959, had a living great-uncle in the SAME CITY, that was not invited to the wedding </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(and he was one of literally a handful of family alive after the war)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. My great-grandfather, the one I was told was so close with his family, visited multiple times - till the mid 80's - cities where he had FIRST-COUSINS </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(his only living family)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">; as far as I know, he had no relationship with them.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My grandfather, who always said he would love to know more about the Stein side of the family, has many living 2nd cousins, especially in Israel </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(where he visits almost annually)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and ignores their existence </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(though he might not be aware of them)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Very long story short: it's good to know I am not the first person in the family to be rejected for living a self-determined life…</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I managed to find multiple cousins on Facebook, and if only I was a bit braver </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(or weirder...)</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I would've tagged them on FB. For now, I am secretly hoping to run into them one day!</span></div>
</span>Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-903912431444437602018-07-03T02:10:00.000-04:002018-07-03T02:22:08.363-04:00An Early Morning Reflection: Not Coming Full Circle, But Creating My Own Circle<i style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">(Note: this started out as an early morning FB post rant, but became longer so I am uploading it here)</span></i><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">If anyone would've
told me 6 years </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif;">ago
- you know, during the time I first joined <b><a href="http://www.footstepsorg.org/" target="_blank">Footsteps</a></b>, and was
trying to find my footing in the world outside the cult-ure I grew up in -
</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">that I would wake up one morning in Jerusalem, and be excited to
join 150+ rabbis from all over the world for 10 days of studying:<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I would've either laughed at your bad attempt at impossible humor,
or would've seen it as a failed<i> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiruv">Kiruv</a></i> attempt...<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Well, it's 6 years later, add
"Modern/Progressive/Liberal" to the titles of the 150 rabbis, and I
am awake early in the morning, in Jerusalem </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif;">- the same City where my grandfather was ordained
55 years ago, the same City where my great-grandfather was a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebbe" target="_blank">Hasidic <i>Rebbe</i></a> (spiritual
supreme leader) for 40 years - </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and I am super
excited to start the <a href="https://hartman.org.il/Programs_View.asp?Program_Id=14&Cat_Id=289&Cat_Type=Programs" target="_blank"><b>Rabbinic Torah Study Seminar</b> (RTS) 2018</a>, at
the <a href="https://hartman.org.il/" target="_blank"><b>Shalom Hartman
Institute</b></a>!<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Today, I am joining 150 colleagues </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif;">(damn, never thought I will
ever again call other rabbis "colleagues")</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">, to explore, challenge, and learn from each other. No, I am
not Religious </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif;">(okay,
in an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthodox_Judaism" target="_blank">Orthodox</a> sense)</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> again. Heck, if
you ask if I believe in the Monotheistic-Abrahamic traditional concept of God,
I am a bigger Atheist than ever before.<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But I am excited.<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am excited because I love our tradition.<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am excited because I see a world where I can cherry-pick my
spiritual and traditional practices, and that is not just okay, but beautiful.<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am excited because I reached a point in my life where I am
comfortable enough in my own skin, to look back and embrace what I love about
my childhood and <i>Yeshiva</i></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> (Rabbinical
School)</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> years and rejoice with it.<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am excited because frankly, the next 10 days are going to be fun.<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Signing off,<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">An ex-Orthodox girl, former Rabbinical student, current proud
radical progressive-liberal, LGBTQ worrier, and a woman of trans experience who
couldn't care less about not fitting into anyone's box,<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">With </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "segoe ui emoji" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">💖</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">,<u1:p></u1:p></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><i style="background-color: white;">Abby C. Stein</i></span></div>
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Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-8408681118374149472018-01-27T14:02:00.003-05:002023-01-27T11:02:32.524-05:00Re-post: Holocaust Remembrance Day: Personal Reflection<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<i><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I wrote this last year on the Jewish Holocaust Remembrance Day, and the response was really positive, mostly. I love genealogy, and it felt like an opportunity to “say their names” - remember. One unexpected result, was a slew of Nazis/Anti-Semites/haters Holocaust deniers trying to attack me on </span><a href="https://twitter.com/abbychavastein/status/856687030419456000" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Twitter</a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">, I guess feeling triggered by a list of actual people, most of my direct grandparents that kinda contradicted their hateful or ignorant world view.</span></b></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><b>So, I decided to share it again, and this time to update links for each name to <a href="http://geni.com/">Geni</a>, because when we say Never Again, we mean it (and add their hate in the bottom, because, well, know thy enemy).</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today is </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yom_HaShoah" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Holocaust Remembrance Day</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(or </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yom HaShoah</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in Hebrew)</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, remembering one of the biggest, and the most brutal genocide in human history. Between 1938 and 1945, and even more so with the roll-out of the infamous </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Solution" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Final Solution</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1942, a fascist regime - by fueling the hate, racism, xenophobia, and antisemitism in one of the world's most ‘enlightened’ cultures - killed over a third of the Jewish people. At the same time they carried out a less discussed genocide against other minorities, such as the </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romani_people#World_War_II" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Romani People</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, people of lesser physical ability, and the LGBTQ Community.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As a Jew - three of my four grandparents are holocaust survivors. As a proud member of the LGBTQ community, and trans woman - the Nazis killed thousands of my fellow community members, and set back medical transgender research by a few decades. They shut down </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnus_Hirschfeld" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Magnus Hirschfeld</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">’s “</span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institut_f%C3%BCr_Sexualwissenschaft#Transgender_pioneers" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Institut für Sexualwissenschaft</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">” </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 10pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(Institute For Sexology)</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, burned all his research, and killed most of its members. The Holocaust formed, and is still forming parts of who I am, in ways that I want it to, and in ways that I would prefer it stays out. It is who I am.</span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right; text-indent: 48px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-LJhUd9NbAM1xbZLZQyMEBaxA7Ic3s7bWq6oDXN_K6SnE0HApTcv-fBcVGks8iIQVfVkXVTSQ8_jvzH2y2opbXABi1hVUF_7CGdJ7EYB6ySWl6iByvV2fpBmHfXVFbhjY0Etl86NhFBCL/s1600/Kopaygorod.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-LJhUd9NbAM1xbZLZQyMEBaxA7Ic3s7bWq6oDXN_K6SnE0HApTcv-fBcVGks8iIQVfVkXVTSQ8_jvzH2y2opbXABi1hVUF_7CGdJ7EYB6ySWl6iByvV2fpBmHfXVFbhjY0Etl86NhFBCL/s200/Kopaygorod.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">Mass grave of Jews killed during the<br />
Holocaust, in Kopaygorod, Ukraine</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today, I wanna share with you all a list I compiled two years ago when I spoke at the Holocaust Remembrance day ceremony at the Columbia Hillel </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 10pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(center for Jewish student life at Columbia)</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. In the past years, as I have been speaking for more and more diverse communities around the world, I have mentioned a few times that over 25 of my ‘direct’ ancestors </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 10pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(not family - cousins, aunts and uncles, etc. that number is way too high for me to count)</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> went through the holocaust - some survived, some were killed. Often I am met with disbelief; so here is an exact list, with some details I remembered offhand. And while I am at it, why not give you all a crash course in my genealogy.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3 grandparents:</span></div>
<ol style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 48px;">
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><a href="https://he.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%97%D7%A1%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%AA_%D7%A4%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%98%D7%99%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9F#.D7.94.D7.93.D7.95.D7.A8_.D7.94.D7.A9.D7.9C.D7.99.D7.A9.D7.99" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mordechai Stein</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1940 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F%C4%83lticeni" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fălticeni, Romania</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Fălticeni. Currently resides in Brooklyn, NY.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><a href="http://hamodia.com/2015/04/21/harav-yosef-moshe-meisels-zl/" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yosef Moshe Meisels</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">- born 1924 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galicia_(Eastern_Europe)" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Galicia</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Poland, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Hungary. Died 2015 in Brooklyn NY.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Malkah-Meisels/6000000006712194591?through=6000000042683929588">Malka Meisels</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Schnek) - born in the 1920’s in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanji%C5%BEa" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kanjiža</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Yugoslavia (modern Serbia), </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Auschwitz and other death camps. Died 2013 in Brooklyn NY.</span></div>
</li>
</ol>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">6 great-grandparents:</span></div>
<ol start="4" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 48px;">
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><a href="https://he.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%97%D7%A1%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%AA_%D7%A4%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%98%D7%99%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9F#.D7.94.D7.93.D7.95.D7.A8_.D7.94.D7.A9.D7.A0.D7.99" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yisroel Avrohom Stein</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1916 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vyzhnytsia" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Vyzhnytsia</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Chernivtsi Oblast,</span><b style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px;"> </b><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ukraine, s</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">urvived </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Fălticeni, Romania. Died 1989 in Brooklyn, NY.</span></div></li>
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Sarah-Stein-Twersky/6000000006712229233" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sarah Stein</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Twersky) - born ca. 1910 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suceava" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Suceava</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Bukovina (modern Romania), </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in Fălticeni, Romania. Died 1997 in Brooklyn, NY.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/R-Zvi-Hirsch-Meisels-A-B-D-Weitzen-Chicago/6000000003514791411" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tzvi Hirsch</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><a href="https://he.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%A6%D7%91%D7%99_%D7%94%D7%99%D7%A8%D7%A9_%D7%9E%D7%99%D7%99%D7%96%D7%9C%D7%99%D7%A9" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Meisels</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1902 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%A1toralja%C3%BAjhely" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sátoraljaújhely</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Hungary, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">several death camps, and became Chief-Rabbi of the </span><a href="http://www.dpcamps.org/" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">British DP Camps</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Lived in Chicago IL after the war, died in 1974.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="http://www.geni.com/people/Henna-Zissel-Meisels/6000000004088335518" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Henna Zissel Meisels</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Teitelbaum) - born ca 1900 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobowa" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bobowa</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Galicia (modern Poland), </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Moshe-Schnek/361137905420013577?through=6000000006712194591">Moshe Schnek</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - lived in Kanjiža, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Esther-Schnek/329899673040006113?through=6000000006712194591">Esther Schnek</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Mentzer) born in Kanjiža, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
</li>
</ol>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 48px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">15 great-great-grandparents</span></div>
<ol start="10" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 48px;">
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Efraim-Aharon-Stein/6000000004873902631?through=6000000006712167709">Efroim Aaron Stein</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1872 in Vyzhnytsia, Chernivtsi Oblast, Ukraine, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">died</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in Nazi exile in </span><a href="https://uk.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%9A%D0%BE%D0%BF%D0%B0%D0%B9%D0%B3%D0%BE%D1%80%D0%BE%D0%B4" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kopaygorod</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transnistria_Governorate" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Transnistria</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (modern Ukraine) in 1943.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Rachel-Stein/6000000017584798659?through=6000000004873902631">Rachel Stein</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Fogel) - born in Vyzhnytsia, </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Chernivtsi Oblast, Ukraine</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Nazi exile in Transnistria. Died 1957 in Israel.</span></div></li>
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><a href="https://he.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%97%D7%A1%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%AA_%D7%A4%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%98%D7%99%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9F#.D7.94.D7.93.D7.95.D7.A8_.D7.94.D7.A8.D7.90.D7.A9.D7.95.D7.9F" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Eluzer Twersky</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1893 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belz" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Belz</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Lviv Oblast, Ukraine, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> survived </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bucharest" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bucharest</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Romania. Died 1976 in Brooklyn NY. </span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Rivkah-Twersky/331729563080013334?through=6000000006712229233">Rivka Rachel Twersky</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Moskovitz) - born in Suceava, Bukovina (modern Romania), </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> survived </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bucharest" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bucharest</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Romania. Died 1960 in Brooklyn NY. </span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Dovid-Meisels-ABD-Uhel-%D7%94%D7%99-%D7%93/6000000007450965261?through=6000000003514791411">Dovid Dov Meisels</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1865 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarn%C3%B3w" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tarnów</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Glicia (modern Poland), </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Reize-Meisels-%D7%94%D7%99-%D7%93/4822013083750035753?through=6000000007450965261">Roiza Beluma Meisels</a> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(née Teitelbaum) - born </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1876 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sighetu_Marma%C8%9Biei" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sighetu Marmație</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maramure%C8%99" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maramureș</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (modern Romania), </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Chaya-Sheindel-Teitelbaum/6000000007472827706?through=4821979279200027680">Chaya Sheindel Teitelbaum</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Halberstam) - born in Bobowa, Galicia (modern Poland), </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Gittel-Kati-Koniza-Babbe-Menczer/326262051500007361?through=329899673040006113">Gitel Mentzer</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Goldberger) - born <i>ca</i> 1847 in Kanjiža, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">by the Nazis in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Mordechei-Ahron-Menczer/326261821180005821?through=326262051500007361">Mordecai Aaron Mentzer</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - lived in Kanjiža pre war, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">by the Nazis in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Feige-Twersky/6000000006712159365?through=6000000003207327543">Faige Twersky</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Rokeach) - born 1861 in Belz, Lviv Oblast, Ukraine, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">died</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warsaw_Ghetto" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Warsaw Ghetto</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1941. </span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/R-Hirsch-Kahana-of-Spinka/6000000006712203407?through=6000000002683142523">Tzvi Hirsch Kahana</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born in </span><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C4%83p%C3%A2n%C8%9Ba" style="text-decoration-line: none;">Săpânța</a>,</span><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maramure%C8%99" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maramureș</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (modern Romania), </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Mirl-Kahana/6000000008786366869?through=6000000006712203407">Mirl Geula Kahana</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Rubin) - born in </span><a href="https://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brzozdowce" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Berezdivtsi</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Lviv Oblast, Ukraine, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/R-Yitzchak-Teitelbaum-A-B-D-Hussakow-and-then-Admur-Miskolc-and-Ungvar/6000000013409285946?through=6000000017585048378">Yitzchak Teitelbaum</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1869 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drohobych" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Drohobycz</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Lviv Oblast, Ukraine, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Wife-of-R-Yitzchak-Teitelbaum/6000000013606281187?through=6000000013409285946">Hanya Teitelbaum</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Langenauer) - Born in </span><a href="https://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hussak%C3%B3w" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hussaków</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Lviv Oblast, Ukraine), </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Eliezer-Schnek/372147373160007763?through=361137905420013577">Eliezer Schnek</a>,</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1944</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Ruchel-Schnek/372147592900012430?through=372147373160007763">Rachel Schnek</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in 1944</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></div>
</li>
</ol>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 48px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In total, 25 of my direct grandparents, great-grandparents, and great-great-grandparents went through the Holocaust. 9 survived, 16 perished.</span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrte42s6J8WN5WSOPS1wsuX_GWV5p4Oqu1gioDUu5eEny5KbKkkAGLYf86M9dmofHU8jBhQHEr1vDrmT4GsJmj7GIeQtWOvl7qF_mX2t3n5PfRBR4Kpt_PEqB43pIM4Dzf135S4C7rrUNA/s1600/HRD.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrte42s6J8WN5WSOPS1wsuX_GWV5p4Oqu1gioDUu5eEny5KbKkkAGLYf86M9dmofHU8jBhQHEr1vDrmT4GsJmj7GIeQtWOvl7qF_mX2t3n5PfRBR4Kpt_PEqB43pIM4Dzf135S4C7rrUNA/s320/HRD.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Last year's responses on Twitter</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: large; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When we say “Never Forget” we mean it. When we say “Never Again” we mean it. When you see us scream “We have seen this before” believe us and take action. </span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-89980093322605687612017-12-24T17:39:00.001-05:002018-12-24T15:22:07.240-05:00"The Most Wonderful Night": A Christmas/Nittel Jewish Story<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Holidays are always a time that people think about family, and for those of us that have no relationship with most family members for whichever reason - a time that can quickly get sad and lonely. Fortunately for myself, I only have to struggle with these feeling during Jewish holidays, as for most Secular/American holidays, there is nothing to miss. Not only does my family not celebrate holidays like Thanksgiving and New Year’s, but growing up, we were barely aware that these days exist as holidays.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7kCs2v61n2h07EuPHeG6SqlNu2vDS1wylF8Uzxg2DO5L8ocYH-QvHZzxi_RhyphenhyphenGuxFnrV8B93fc4tepyPRhNxtVwflNiLopGebUjmH1gb2glpoZN8zbFBQoKQyp00MrLHnOIUTjZFcGGGn/s1600/nittel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="355" data-original-width="355" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7kCs2v61n2h07EuPHeG6SqlNu2vDS1wylF8Uzxg2DO5L8ocYH-QvHZzxi_RhyphenhyphenGuxFnrV8B93fc4tepyPRhNxtVwflNiLopGebUjmH1gb2glpoZN8zbFBQoKQyp00MrLHnOIUTjZFcGGGn/s200/nittel.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Christmas</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(or as we called it, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kratzmakh</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, literally: Scratch-Me in Yiddish, a pun, usually seen as degrading: </span><a href="https://forward.com/articles/9103/christmas-punning/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">see the Forward article</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> however, was different. Not only were we aware of the day’s existence, but in an interesting turn of events, even celebrated it. Not just the Western Christmas on the Eve of December 24</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 7.2pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(as in tonight)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, but also the Eastern Orthodox Christmas on January 7</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 7.2pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. In fact, for most of us teenagers studying in religious school in the Catskill Mountains of New York State, these two nights where in some ways ‘</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">the most wonderful time of the year</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">’.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Okay now, enough with the build up. Most of you who are unaware of what I am referring to are probably having a hard time believing that the cult-ish Jewish community that believes the outside world is evil, celebrated a Christian holiday that most secular Jews don’t celebrate, any more than having family time and eating Chinese food. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well okay, we didn’t do Christmas, or Kratzmakh, we celebrated “</span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nittel_Nacht" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Nittel Nacht</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.” Nittel was the only night of the year, that not only weren't we driven to feel guilty if we ‘wasted’ our time doing anything else besides studying holy scriptures, we were forbidden from doing so. As a result it was the only time of the year, that we were playing games ‘guilt-free’ to some extend. Different Hasidic communities have different times of when they “observed” with the dates being between December 24</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 7.2pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, January 7</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 7.2pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, or one sect, January 6</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 7.2pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - all depending mostly on where they come from. Some did from sunset to midnight, 6 pm to midnight, or noon to midnight. In my sect, we did sunset to midnight on the 24</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 7.2pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and noon to midnight on the 7</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 7.2pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In my childhood, “Nittel” was a ‘special’ fun day. As a pre-teen, it was the only night my father allowed us free, non-guilt-driven, access to watch videos on his home computer</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (that obviously had no internet access)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Mostly that consisted of videos of family weddings, speeches and events where my late great-grandfather was the keynote speaker, recorded gatherings of Hasidic Rebbes (mostly my great-uncle, the </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shlomo_Halberstam_(third_Bobover_rebbe)" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bobov’er Rebbe</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and at times, National Geographic films he deemed ‘kosher’. Later on, in rabbinical seminary, the two Nittels were the only two days in the year that we were allowed to play board games in the main study hall, and during a year long prohibition on listening to any and all tapes and CD’s </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(a story for another time)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, we were allowed to listen to these devices on Nittel. In true Hasidic fashion, they turned playing chess on Nittel into a whole custom, with supposed deep meanings. In my sect, the Rebbe </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(Supreme Leader)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> himself used to play chess publicly on Nittel.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If that is not ‘celebrating’ Christmas, I don’t know what is…</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What is most interesting to me, and the reason I set down to write this post - which was supposed to be a short one paragraph quest for all of your thoughts, before I turned it into a storytelling rant - is the interesting part of a twisted acceptance and almost blind belief in the “Power of Christ” so to speak. Most Jews, Muslims, and followers of other faiths that don’t do Christmas, that I know today, don’t celebrate it, because, well, they don’t think there is anything divine or holy with this day/or with Christ. It is not any kind of disrespect, but merely a difference in belief/spiritual practice, something that is as old as the time the first human looked on nature and perceived the sun as a God. Hasidic Jews however, see Christ and Christmas as a powerful time, a night in which the devil reigns. They are different historical reasons for Nittel, but at least what I was told as a child, was that the evil powers are so strong on Christmas Eve, that if you study holy scriptures, it will be stolen by the ‘other side’ - metaphor for the devil and demons.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In short, a total acceptance of the powers of Christianity, a weird </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(and almost only)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> adoption of the Gregorian Calendar as having a real spiritual power, though evil. Something really weird, considering that otherwise they considered every other religion and practice as being utterly ‘wrong’ and ‘misguided’.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Pardon my rant, as I am not writing this to say that I am in a the slightest way missing my families hangout on this day, I will enjoy the party I am going to tonight way more... </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What I am curious is if anyone else is aware of a similar concept in other religions - where there is a total disregard theologically to other religious/spiritual practices </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(so not talking about traditions that have a strong multi-faith/tradition respect)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, yet they are a few unique examples, where they suddenly adopt a hated religion’s beliefs in a twisted way?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-04d4500f-8aac-e7ae-82c9-14881296fd78"></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(Not asking for a historical explanation of the origins of Nittel, I am referring to the way they see it today)</span></span></div>
Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-54589921587764588102017-12-19T15:52:00.002-05:002017-12-19T16:31:13.808-05:00Na, I Am Not An Addict - But I Am: A Personal Story of Addiction and Recovery<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Today is December 19, 2017, which is exactly 3 years since December 19, 2014 = 3 whole years of sobriety. That is 3 years, 36 months, 1,096 days, and 26,300 hours since I last touched any form of narcotics, from alcohol to weed, and so on.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Okay I know that some of you are raising your eyebrows on this weird post. As a girl that is quite public about most parts of her life, this is a quite big part that I rarely - if ever - talk about publicly. Besides the occasional casual ‘Oh, I don’t drink, I don’t do weed’ I rarely ever mention that I am staying sober. A lot of my close friends probably think that I just don’t enjoy drinking (I do, or I did, big time), and besides a few friends that are also staying sober, who just know me as that friend “that never went through NA, but stays sober” (I am looking at you - you know who you are… thanks for being an inspiration) very few people see me as one of ‘these’ addicts that is working hard to stay sober. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipujQOpGo38Qdhr2PYuFfUk9U0C-TDJRDdYCq-_AYGszIB6ki6pUaY7NzHoKGu_lMV09epJbkHVXF24ZpI4w4IaJ-3svoFFW7XImwcKtD_xhsIOiN55Q_PPmghDR-QQue9SFfsxnwfDm4Y/s1600/20171219_154755.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipujQOpGo38Qdhr2PYuFfUk9U0C-TDJRDdYCq-_AYGszIB6ki6pUaY7NzHoKGu_lMV09epJbkHVXF24ZpI4w4IaJ-3svoFFW7XImwcKtD_xhsIOiN55Q_PPmghDR-QQue9SFfsxnwfDm4Y/s200/20171219_154755.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Well thanks to a few people who have inspired me lately to tell this part of my self publicly, I wanna share this with all of you today, as I am low key celebrating what I think is one of my bigger accomplishments in the past 3 years (ya, bigger that being on ShowTime, CNN, Fox, or every other major network).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is 3 years </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">- since the day I told myself, and convinced myself, that if I ever wanna get anywhere in life, I better get my s***t together, and find a better way to drown my depression than the sweet and sour taste of alcohol. Struggling with </span><a href="https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gender Dysphoria</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (NOT the mental illness) is never easy, and we all need ways to drown the sorrow of wanting to jump out of our own skin every day. For me, starting mainly after I got divorced in the summer of 2013, but in some ways going back to my days in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeshiva" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yeshiva</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> 2008-2010, that was alcohol. During the summer of 2013 for a few months, most weekdays looked pretty much the same: Waking up at 3 pm, spending about 4 hours reading and working at </span><a href="https://finkelsteinlibrary.org/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Finkelstein Library</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, then head over to Nyack, NY, spend a few hours getting wasted, because I couldn’t stand myself, getting home at 2 in the morning, and the cycle continued. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But I magically convinced myself that I am not an addict.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is 3 years </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">- since the day I very clearly realized that the hangovers, short term and long term, of narcotics if just not worth it. Throughout my entire life, I knew very clearly that I am a girl, that was clear to me as the fact that alcohol makes me forget that everyone thinks that I am a boy. However, I magically convinced myself that if I just do XYZ in life, “it is gonna go away” - kinda what we call in the Queer community, </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pray_the_Gay_Away%3F" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">praying the gay away</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. When I started school in the fall of 2014, after about 6 weeks, the reality of who I am hit me once again, and I needed a way to drown it out. At that point I lived at </span><a href="https://sites.google.com/site/beitephraimhousecolumbia/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Bayit</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and right around the corner was 1020, a bar frequented by students - and that became my safe space (or so I thought), spending hours there, losing my clear mind, getting home late, waking up late, and trying to go on with my life.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And I still magically convinced myself that I am not an addict.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is 3 years </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">- since I attended “Brightlights” my first big Hanukkah event with </span><a href="https://www.romemu.org/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Romemu</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, with two good friends, and the last party I ever attended where I got tipsy. I attended it with a friend that was quite out as queer at that point, and after a short time of drinking, I found myself telling her details about my life I never shared with anyone. Another 9.5 months will pass, full of struggles, and pretending everything is perfect, before I will start physical transition, but I told her that I ‘used’ to think I am a girl, something I never shared before with someone face to face. We were both after a glass or two, but I realized quickly that I just did something from which it is hard to come back. That time was one of my darkest moments struggling with depression, and with the mental bear that was suffocating me - gender dysphoria. It became clear to me, that if I continue going down that route, trying to use alcohol and ‘edibles’ to stay sane, I would be very far from sane.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I finally realized that yes, I am an addict.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was beyond lucky that I was able to stop myself in the tracks. Admittedly, my arrogance did not allow me to look for help in person, so besides getting some guidance from a few anonymous online forms, I didn’t join a recovery group. Part of me still insisted till lately that ‘I was never an addict’ and as if I magically stopped my addiction in the tracks, but I was fooling myself. Looking back on my experience, I had, and still have every sign of a recovering addict. Hell, I am an addict in nature - just replaced a dangerous addiction, narcotics, with a perhaps less dangerous addiction (at least easier hangovers) called Netflix. I was just extremely lucky to find the support and inspiration to be able to pull this off, and move one step closer towards full recovery, and move on with full transition - something that it is clear would've been impossible otherwise.</span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioYoX8gzDtPBVbEl3W6vV3iARyV9o9B28DLkF4xwuJGc03IvRTFDpr0UZoZRH4nO4cAqsI8VCJod3HuJJDY3JBaueBOMpdf2S_nrXmCMRR7rJE25X15EtqaidJHeZMFLKIbpGpphyphenhyphen7lm9w/s1600/20171219_154833.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioYoX8gzDtPBVbEl3W6vV3iARyV9o9B28DLkF4xwuJGc03IvRTFDpr0UZoZRH4nO4cAqsI8VCJod3HuJJDY3JBaueBOMpdf2S_nrXmCMRR7rJE25X15EtqaidJHeZMFLKIbpGpphyphenhyphen7lm9w/s200/20171219_154833.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>A Hebrew NA tag</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am sharing this story first and foremost with the silent hope that it will help at least one person struggling in silence just like me, and maybe they will find inspiration to stop, it worked for me. In addition, it is upon me to thank all these amazing people that while they might be unaware, they were my lifeline and inspiration from the day my addiction was stopped in its tracks, till today. I wouldn’t say names as I don’t want to out anyone, but you all know who you are. From the first friend who introduced me to recovery, made me go to the first NA conference (A New Years Eve dry party), and was an inspiration to show that I can do it - though I think I managed to convince here that I am just there for </span><a href="http://www.nar-anon.org/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Nar-Anon</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. To a friend that I met through the Formerly Orthodox community, but who became I close friend, and introduced me to so many amazing people in recovery. Finally, I wanna thank </span><a href="http://speakersforchange.org/cortney-lovell/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Cortney Lovell</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, who I met while we were both performing with </span><a href="https://www.wearedefiant.net/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Defiant</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and has been one of the biggest inspirations for me to tell this story, and write this post. Thank you all!</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Finally I have one short messages to all wondering if they can do it: Yes you can! Don’t be as stupid as me, find support, find a 12-steps group, and you two can have a better life.</b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-af7b4690-7084-ec82-fd9a-5c6f3b9f64fe"></span></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Happy Holidays!!! </i></b></span></span></div>
Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-25870466099535349972017-04-23T20:25:00.000-04:002017-04-23T20:39:59.355-04:00Holocaust Remembrance Day: A Personal Reflection<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today is </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yom_HaShoah" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Holocaust Remembrance Day</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(or </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-style: italic; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yom HaShoah</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in Hebrew)</span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, remembering one of the biggest, and the most brutal genocide in human history. Between 1938 and 1945, and even more so with the roll-out of the infamous </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Solution" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Final Solution</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1942, a fascist regime - by fueling the hate, racism, xenophobia, and antisemitism in one of the world's most ‘enlightened’ cultures - killed over a third of the Jewish people. At the same time they carried out a less discussed genocide against other minorities, such as the </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romani_people#World_War_II" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Romani People</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, people of lesser physical ability, and the LGBTQ Community.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As a Jew - three of my four grandparents are holocaust survivors. As a proud member of the LGBTQ community, and trans woman - the Nazis killed thousands of my fellow community members, and set back medical transgender research by a few decades. They shut down </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnus_Hirschfeld" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Magnus Hirschfeld</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">’s “</span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institut_f%C3%BCr_Sexualwissenschaft#Transgender_pioneers" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Institut für Sexualwissenschaft</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">” </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(Institute For Sexology)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, burned all his research, and killed most of its members. The Holocaust formed, and is still forming parts of who I am, in ways that I want it to, and in ways that I would prefer it stays out. It is who I am.</span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-LJhUd9NbAM1xbZLZQyMEBaxA7Ic3s7bWq6oDXN_K6SnE0HApTcv-fBcVGks8iIQVfVkXVTSQ8_jvzH2y2opbXABi1hVUF_7CGdJ7EYB6ySWl6iByvV2fpBmHfXVFbhjY0Etl86NhFBCL/s1600/Kopaygorod.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-LJhUd9NbAM1xbZLZQyMEBaxA7Ic3s7bWq6oDXN_K6SnE0HApTcv-fBcVGks8iIQVfVkXVTSQ8_jvzH2y2opbXABi1hVUF_7CGdJ7EYB6ySWl6iByvV2fpBmHfXVFbhjY0Etl86NhFBCL/s200/Kopaygorod.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mass grave of Jews killed during the<br />
Holocaust, in Kopaygorod, Ukraine</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today, I wanna share with you all a list I compiled two years ago when I spoke at the Holocaust Remembrance day ceremony at the Columbia Hillel </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(center for Jewish student life at Columbia)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. In the past years, as I have been speaking for more and more diverse communities around the world, I have mentioned a few times that over 25 of my ‘direct’ ancestors </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(not family - cousins, aunts and uncles, etc. that number is way too high for me to count)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> went through the holocaust - some survived, some were killed. Often I am met with disbelief; so here is an exact list, with some details I remembered offhand. And while I am at it, why not give you all a crash course in my genealogy.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3 grandparents:</span></div>
<ol style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><a href="https://he.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%97%D7%A1%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%AA_%D7%A4%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%98%D7%99%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9F#.D7.94.D7.93.D7.95.D7.A8_.D7.94.D7.A9.D7.9C.D7.99.D7.A9.D7.99" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mordechai Stein</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1940 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F%C4%83lticeni" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fălticeni, Romania</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Fălticeni. Currently resides in Brooklyn, NY.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><a href="http://hamodia.com/2015/04/21/harav-yosef-moshe-meisels-zl/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yosef Moshe Meisels</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">- born 1924 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galicia_(Eastern_Europe)" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Galicia</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Poland, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Hungary. Died 2015 in Brooklyn NY.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Malka Meisels</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Schnek) - born in the 1920’s in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanji%C5%BEa" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kanjiža</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Yugoslavia (modern Serbia), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Auschwitz and other death camps. Died 2013 in Brooklyn NY.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">6 great-grandparents:</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><a href="https://he.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%97%D7%A1%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%AA_%D7%A4%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%98%D7%99%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9F#.D7.94.D7.93.D7.95.D7.A8_.D7.94.D7.A9.D7.A0.D7.99" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yisroel Avrohom Stein</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1916 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vyzhnytsia" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Vyzhnytsia</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bukovina" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bukovina</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (modern Ukraine), s</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">urvived </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Fălticeni, Romania. Died 1989 in Brooklyn, NY.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://www.geni.com/people/Sarah-Stein-Twersky/6000000006712229233" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sarah Stein</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Twersky) - born ca. 1910 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suceava" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Suceava</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Bukovina (modern Romania), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in Fălticeni, Romania. Died 1997 in Brooklyn, NY.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><a href="https://www.geni.com/people/R-Zvi-Hirsch-Meisels-A-B-D-Weitzen-Chicago/6000000003514791411" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tzvi Hirsch</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><a href="https://he.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%A6%D7%91%D7%99_%D7%94%D7%99%D7%A8%D7%A9_%D7%9E%D7%99%D7%99%D7%96%D7%9C%D7%99%D7%A9" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Meisels</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1902 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%A1toralja%C3%BAjhely" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sátoraljaújhely</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Hungary, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">several death camps, and became Chief-Rabbi of the </span><a href="http://www.dpcamps.org/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">British DP Camps</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Lived in Chicago IL after the war, died in 1974.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://www.geni.com/people/Henna-Zissel-Meisels/6000000004088335518" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Henna Zissel Meisels</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Teitelbaum) - born ca 1900 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobowa" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bobowa</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Galicia (modern Poland), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Moshe Schnek</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - lived in Kanjiža, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Esther Schnek</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Mentzer) born in Kanjiža, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">15 great-great-grandparents</span></div>
<ol start="10" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Efroim Aaron Stein</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born in Vyzhnytsia, Bukovina (modern Ukraine), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">died</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in Nazi exile in </span><a href="https://uk.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%9A%D0%BE%D0%BF%D0%B0%D0%B9%D0%B3%D0%BE%D1%80%D0%BE%D0%B4" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kopaygorod</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transnistria_Governorate" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Transnistria</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (modern Ukraine) in 1943.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rachel Stein</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Fogel) - born in Vyzhnytsia, Bukovina (modern Ukraine), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">survived</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Nazi exile in Transnistria. Died 1957 in Israel.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><a href="https://he.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%97%D7%A1%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%AA_%D7%A4%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%98%D7%99%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9F#.D7.94.D7.93.D7.95.D7.A8_.D7.94.D7.A8.D7.90.D7.A9.D7.95.D7.9F" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Eluzer Twersky</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1893 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belz" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Belz</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Galicia (Modern Ukraine), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> survived </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bucharest" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bucharest</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Romania. Died 1976 in Brooklyn NY. </span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rivka Rachel Twersky</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Moskovitz) - born in Suceava, Bukovina (modern Romania), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> survived </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bucharest" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bucharest</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Romania. Died 1960 in Brooklyn NY. </span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dovid Dov Meisels</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born 1876 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarn%C3%B3w" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tarnów</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Glicia (modern Poland), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Roiza Beluma Meisels</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Teitelbaum) - born ca </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1875 in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sighetu_Marma%C8%9Biei" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sighetu Marmație</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maramure%C8%99" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maramureș</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (modern Romania), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Chaya Sheindel Teitelbaum</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Halberstam) - born in Bobowa, Galicia (modern Poland), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">in Auschwitz in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gitel Mentzer</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Goldberger) - born in Kanjiža, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">by the Nazis in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mordecai Aaron Mentzer</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - lived in Kanjiža pre war, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">by the Nazis in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Faige Twersky</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Rokeach) - born in Belz, Galicia (Modern Ukraine), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">died</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warsaw_Ghetto" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Warsaw Ghetto</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1941. </span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tzvi Hirsch Kahana</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C4%83p%C3%A2n%C8%9Ba" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Săpânța</span></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #707070; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maramure%C8%99" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maramureș</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (modern Romania), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mirl Geula Kahana</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Rubin) - born in </span><a href="https://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brzozdowce" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Berezdivtsi</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Galicia (modern Ukraine), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yitzchak Teitelbaum</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - born in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drohobych" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Drohobycz</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Austria (modern Ukraine), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hanya Teitelbaum</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (née Langenauer) - Born in </span><a href="https://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hussak%C3%B3w" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hussaków</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Poland (modern Ukraine), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in 1944.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Grandfather Schnek</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (name unknown at the moment), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Grandmother Schnek</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (name unknown at the moment), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">killed</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></div>
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</ol>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In total, 25 of my direct grandparents, great-grandparents, and great-great-grandparents went through the Holocaust. 9 survived, 16 perished.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When we say “Never Forget” we mean it. When we say “Never Again” we mean it. When you see us scream “We have seen this before” believe us and take action. </span></div>
</div>
Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-13896902486469595512017-02-25T14:04:00.001-05:002017-02-25T14:05:19.305-05:00A Timely Lesson: Let’s Rise Up; Together (INN D'var Torah)<div style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 14pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">(This post was written as part of the weekly <a href="https://ifnotnowmovement.org/" target="_blank">IfNotNow</a> D'var Torah series. It was originally published at: <a href="https://medium.com/ifnotnowtorah/a-timely-lesson-lets-rise-up-together-30f4e869088a">https://medium.com/ifnotnowtorah/a-timely-lesson-lets-rise-up-together-30f4e869088a</a>)</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 14pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This week’s Torah reading, Mishpatim (literally, laws), is one of the most complicated Torah portions to study in depth. It is a wealth of laws as they relate to interpersonal relationships — </span><a href="http://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/28413/source-for-ben-adam-lemakom-and-ben-adam-lechavero" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bein Adam LeChavero</span></a><span style="font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Growing up I attended an ultra-religious school, and we would joke that on this week we need to wear ‘metal pants’ to school, to avoid being wounded by the wrath of our teachers — if/when we couldn’t keep up with the complicated studies.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This week, it felt like every transgender student has to start wearing metal pants to school — this time the regime is coming for us. The highest office in our country made a not so subtle announcement proclaiming “</span><a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/22/us/politics/devos-sessions-transgender-students-rights.html?_r=0" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Trans lives don’t matter</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">” and, wink wink, we will ignore </span><a href="https://www.aclu.org/blog/washington-markup/trans-students-deserve-better-president-trump" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Title IX of 1975’s federal human rights law</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> when it comes to one of the most vulnerable communities in the country, transgender youth.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We are at lost. How do we fight back against a government that is pouring all its resources into undoing all we have accomplished in the past few years? How do we fight regressing, when we are still working on progressing? Once again, we can turn to our ancient tradition, and find inspiration to </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">rise up and resist.</span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfsBDYbQrKWXba4I1IoQ8Whdswkw8hlgkXwNegK5FZ1wdXDgSS2syQuFXeNhgTUS6WSrXTWPyHImDMCDvMMOxBZs69_xIYQ2TnIS_gKS7aiOf4V33CJ-eNN11mzzCMezJBe0_OJZClFnv-/s1600/half-shekel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfsBDYbQrKWXba4I1IoQ8Whdswkw8hlgkXwNegK5FZ1wdXDgSS2syQuFXeNhgTUS6WSrXTWPyHImDMCDvMMOxBZs69_xIYQ2TnIS_gKS7aiOf4V33CJ-eNN11mzzCMezJBe0_OJZClFnv-/s320/half-shekel.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Second Temple period coins that were used to bring donate to the temple.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A part of this week’s Torah reading that is perhaps less known to most American Jews, is the special reading of “</span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Shabbat#Shabbat_Shekalim" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Shabbat Shekalim</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">” — a </span><a href="http://www.sefaria.org/sheets/57914" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">special reading</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> about the charity the Israelites ought to donate to the temple. This reading is added every year on the Shabbat leading up to the new month of </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adar" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Adar</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, the month of happiness, the month of the holiday of </span><a href="http://www.jewfaq.org/holiday9.htm" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Purim</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One of my favorite rabbinical exegesis on this reading, is a interesting conversation between the divine and the Israelite leader, Moshe:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“On Parshat Shekalim Moshe said before the Holy one, Lord of the world, once I die I wouldn’t be remembered? The Holy One responded, I promise you, just like now (while you are alive) you are standing before them and teaching them Parshat Shekalim, and you are raising their heads (raising their spirits), so will it be each and every year when they will read it for me, you will be there at that time, and raise their heads.” (</span><a href="http://www.sefaria.org/Midrash_Tanchuma.2.9.3?lang=bi" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Midrash Tanchuma, 2:9:3</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What’s the significance of ‘reading’ this specific story, that the divine promised Moshe, that this will be how he will be remembered, and that with this he will raise the spirits of the nation?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the Hasidic teachings of my great ancestor, Rabbi Israel Ben Eliezer — </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baal_Shem_Tov" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Baal Shem Tov</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and his disciples, there is a consistent approach to the power of reading biblical stories. Hasidism teaches that “</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Reading evokes the time</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">” meaning, that reading a specific story, at a specific time, is not simply storytelling, but it is as if the story is happening once again. In that sense we can understand the relationship between the power of charity and the energy to ‘rise up’: it reminds us, and recreates the original deeds; it is teaching us the power of charity — it is what gives up the power to keep our heads up.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This past week we had an oppertunity to see the power of charity, and how that helps us to rise our heads up: As we were faced with yet another symptom of the rising tide of hate, anti-Semitism, Islamophobia, and discrimination against every minority in our country; motivated by the rhetoric of the highest office in land. This time the victims were the living and the death alike, </span><a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/21/us/missouri-jewish-cemetery-chesed-shel-emeth.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">the vicious attack on the Jewish Cemetery in St. Louis</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Yet at this moment the power of charity and inter-faith solidarity rose in its full glory, </span><a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/bds-pro-palestine-activist-linda-sarsour-vandalised-jewish-cemetery-chesed-shel-emeth-graveyard-st-a7595016.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">with over $110,000 raised by Muslim women</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, to help rebuilt the cemetery.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is what this Torah portion of interpersonal relationships, and its added portion of rising up through charity teaches us about current days. When we look on both of these ideas, together, The most effective path to resistance is when the persecuted in whichever way it is, gather to fight back, together.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When and if, all the Jews, Muslims, LGBTQIA, People of Color, People of less privileged socio-economic status, and so on, with the help of allies, gather to cry out loud: “WE RESIST” there is nothing we cannot accomplish!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Shabbat Shalom!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">PS: Check out the Sefaria source sheet with some of the sources mentioned here: </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://www.sefaria.org/sheets/57914" style="text-decoration: none;">http://www.sefaria.org/sheets/57914</a></span></div>
Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-78826887103306207392016-11-22T23:16:00.002-05:002016-11-30T19:03:02.578-05:00A Personal and Communal Journey: Education, Columbia University, and Family<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">It was a chilly winter evening at
the beginning of the Spring 2015 semester, after class, when I took the
Columbia University Intercampus Shuttle from the </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.columbia.edu/node/3189/slideshow.1.html"><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Morningside Heights Campus</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, to the </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.cumc.columbia.edu/"><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Columbia Medical Center</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> in Washington Heights. At that
point the driver of the 4:20 shuttle already knew me by name, as I was taking
that shuttle on a weekly and sometimes bi-weekly basis. </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://hamodia.com/2015/04/21/harav-yosef-moshe-meisels-zl/"><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">My maternal grandfather</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, <i>may his memory be a blessing</i>, was hospitalized for months
at CUMC, up to his passing just two months after that. Over the 7 months that
he was there, he wasn’t alone even for a single second, should it be a weekday
or weekend, an ordinary day or a holiday, in rain or in snow. Between his 16
kids (kids and in-laws), and tens of grandkids and great-grandkids, the family
took turns being with </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080925155425AA18iUO"><i><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Zaidy</span></i></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">. My mother was there about twice week, and every few weekends,
and whenever I could I would take the 20-minute shuttle to the medical center
to spend time with my beloved Mommy<i> </i>and <i>Zaidy</i>. After all, I was
the only one in the family to live in Manhattan, and the only one in the entire
extended family <a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a>
to be part of the very university that became an integral part of our family
life for months.</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhadjp9rTnVRIhwWWobGIogTsHTjAC9HM7WvLmQM-VwJxFtnoRTbW8hr9gId_V4bG_hJ246nVcPr_Aide9X7XtoIjn-CSiv9Sx7rAg2qAyFzdyfXN4z02oJ_dfInskFNEl_EQIlcNuMlroc/s1600/20160202_210952.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhadjp9rTnVRIhwWWobGIogTsHTjAC9HM7WvLmQM-VwJxFtnoRTbW8hr9gId_V4bG_hJ246nVcPr_Aide9X7XtoIjn-CSiv9Sx7rAg2qAyFzdyfXN4z02oJ_dfInskFNEl_EQIlcNuMlroc/s320/20160202_210952.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My (old) Columbia ID</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">That day I arrived at the </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://columbiasurgery.org/location/newyork-presbyteriancolumbia-university-medical-center-milstein-hospital-building"><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Milstein Medical Building</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> at the same time as my mom got out
of the car that drove her from Brooklyn. The security at CUMC is adequately
tight, and every time my mother came to visit, doesn’t matter how many times a
week, she had to go through the security check-in. That meant walking up to the
Visitors Counter, show a government ID, say whom she is visiting, and do a
quick bag-check - she was no doubt used to it at that point. As always my mom
was happy to see me; no matter what, her love </span>- unconditional at the time - <span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">to the kid she saw as her oldest
son was strong. We walked in through the revolving door, and out of instinct my
mom approached the security desk. As she was pulling out her non-driver's
license, <a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftn2" name="_ftnref2" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">[2]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> I pulled out my Columbia
ID - which always gave me access to the medical center, no questions asked.
Seeing my ID, the security guard asked me on my mom: “Is she with you?” and
when I said yes, he just let us both go up without having to check in. </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">For my mom, this was the first time
she faced firsthand what she knew for the last year, but never wanted to face
it: her kid - myself, is part of the very same prestigious institution the
family chose to take care of their crown - my grandfather. Mom’s first response,
turning to the guard, was “Yup, my kid is just a showoff.” but as we entered
the elevator to go up to the ICU on the sixth floor, my mother turns to me and
said: “I see, you are doing something useful you’re your life.”</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">She said that in a tone of mourning
rather than pride of her daughter's accomplishment. It is quite possible that
she was the first mother to visit Columbia Medical Center because she believed
in the effectiveness of the Columbia machine, and at the same time be upset,
sad, and ashamed that her kid is part of that very same institution. </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">********************************</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I was only a young teenager when my
cousin, <a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftn3" name="_ftnref3" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">[3]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> the now award winning
actor, </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.luzertwersky.net/"><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Luzer Twersky</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, left the Hasidic community. Luzer
was the first person in my entire extended family <a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftn4" name="_ftnref4" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">[4]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> to commit one of the
harshest sins possible in my family; going </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Off_the_derech"><i><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Off the derech</span></i></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> - leaving the community. At the time our family went out of its
way to demonize him and degrade him. I remember being told the worst things
possible about him. From claims that he is mentally ill to claims that he is a
criminal. The reasons why he left ranged from being insane to just a sinner who
likes sex. We were told that it is certain he will end up a drug addict, in
prison, or dead. Compassion to a family member that is going through a hard
transition? none at all. At that point I pretty much believed it, while I was
secretly watching his path hoping that maybe one day I will be able to follow
in his footsteps. The possibility that in a few years he will have earned a few
film awards, and have a fairly successful acting career, just didn’t cross my
mind.</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Luzer wasn’t the only one that was
demonized in that way. Every time someone left, the families and the whole
community establishment rushed to explain it in any way possible - besides the
possibility that they were looking for a better life outside the confines of
one of America’s most isolated communities. We were told that everyone who
leaves ends up either mentally ill, a criminal, or dead. As with Luzer, the
community would get creative in creating a story of why they left, always
negative, and usually along the lines of mental illness or desire to be sinful
and lustful. Without question, up to about ten years ago, without any support
groups or social media, that was what most of us believed. In addition, they
were sadly right more times than not. Without a solid education or baseline
knowledge of how to live as a civilized human being in the outside world,
topped with family rejection leading to financial breakdown, very few people
were actually successful after leaving. I don’t think anyone took statistics of
these leaving prior to 2003, but from what we know, a lot of them sadly ended
up in bad places physically, mentally, and/or emotionally. </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">In 2012, when I was beginning my
own journey out of the community, everyone in my life rallied around to
convince me of my upcoming colossal failure. A lot of people were called in </span>- so to speak - <span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">to ‘save’ my soul, and try to prevent me from moving forward. From
my father who has a lot of experience working with “teens at risk,” <a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftn5" name="_ftnref5" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">[5]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> my paternal grandfather with
whom I had a very personal relationship as my spiritual mentor, to my
great-aunt, </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.rebbetzinfeige.org/index.html"><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Rebbetzin Feige Twerski</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, a world renown </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthodox_Judaism_outreach"><i><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">kiruv</span></i></a></span><i><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span></i><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">speaker. The underlying message I got from all of them was that
one thing is clear: there is simply no way I will ever succeed in life outside
of the community. However, the biggest reason why that didn’t work in 2012 as
well as it worked with others in 1992, was that I have seen success stories.
Thanks to organizations such as </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://footstepsorg.org/"><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Footsteps</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> and </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.hillel.org.il/"><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Hillel</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, social media such as the Facebook group </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/offthederech/"><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Off the Derech</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, and online projects such as </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl6yF5hlBYdFvs0N5SitVcQ"><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">It Gets Besser</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, I knew that success is possible. To my family and community
however, my success, and the success of my fellow journeyers leaving the
community, was seen as a threat of itself. </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span class="apple-tab-span"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">From the first moment I started
planning to leave the enclave I grew up in, I knew that one of the most
important steps towards success would be education. Here once again everyone
was enlisted to convince me that I will never succeed in academia. As a matter
of opinion, I believe that they knew that education is actually the path to
success, and wanted to do everything possible to ensure that doesn’t happen. I
clearly remember a moment when I was studying for my GED in my father’s study
at home, <a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftn6" name="_ftnref6" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">[6]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> and he came in and said,
“I know you, and I can promise you, you will never succeed in college.”
In the end, as a direct result of these messages I started pushing myself
to prove them wrong, and to work hard to get somewhere in life. I will admit
that part of the reason I applied to NYU and Columbia was because even my
parents recognized that these are top schools. Knowing that pushed me </span>- at least a bit - <span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">to work hard on my SAT's, admissions essay, and so on.</span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj36KwvxAM4Tb_LywUJicmpVoKXOIHcvayd46slH0kHPKQgj_IPsdaIJoGTDm6bg9uZ2bvfhf1Nc7fc53KyeWYl5pIjMLwNgwgsgm2ya8krrORXE5e-hzDL4t_NQ0oW5yJjmMQI5gM3y8CZ/s1600/20140703_150728.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj36KwvxAM4Tb_LywUJicmpVoKXOIHcvayd46slH0kHPKQgj_IPsdaIJoGTDm6bg9uZ2bvfhf1Nc7fc53KyeWYl5pIjMLwNgwgsgm2ya8krrORXE5e-hzDL4t_NQ0oW5yJjmMQI5gM3y8CZ/s320/20140703_150728.jpg" width="195" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Columbia acceptance lette</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I will never forget the look of
shock, dismal, and disappointment on my father's face when I showed him my
Columbia acceptance letter. Throughout the next year - while they were still
talking to me - they constantly hated it when I mentioned being at Columbia,
studying with leading professors, and later on making political connections.
They didn't know how to deal with it, and even more how to convince the rest of
my family that I am NOT successful.</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">To that extent, I have to admit, my
mother saying “I see, you are doing something useful with your life,” while
sincere, was a challenge not just to herself, but to the entire community’s basic
belief system. However, I am proud to say, and to be just one of the living
examples, that everything is possible. No matter what our communities and
families are tell us, we can be successful. Nothing is off limits, not even the
Ivy League, or </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.wsj.com/graphics/college-rankings-2016/"><span style="color: #1155cc; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">the third best school</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> in the United States of America.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-indent: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-indent: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;">This post was inspired by an inquiry by my dear friend </span><a href="http://www.shulemdeen.com/" style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-indent: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;" target="_blank">Shulem Deen</a><span style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-indent: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;">, regarding what we (the OTD community) were told growing up about what happens to these who leave.</span></div>
<div>
<hr align="left" size="1" width="33%" />
<!--[endif]-->
<br />
<div id="ftn1">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> For context, just my grandfather’s
father’s kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, and great-great-grandkids, make up
about a hundreds of college age people. I almost certain that I am the first of
them to go to college.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div id="ftn2">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftnref2" name="_ftn2" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%;">[2]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Non-driver’s license is the most
commonly used form of ID in communities were driving for women (and sometimes
even man as is the case with my family) is considered taboo, and pretty much
unacceptable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div id="ftn3">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftnref3" name="_ftn3" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%;">[3]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Luzer is my </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.myjewishlearning.com/keshet/an-interview-with-luzer-twersky-from-ultra-orthodox-to-transparent-star/3/"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">second
cousin on my father’s side, and later first cousin through my ex wife</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">. Just like in royal families, the royal Hasidic
families – namely descendants of Hasidic rabbis, marry each other all the time,
so there is a lot overlap in family trees. Even in my own marriage, my
great-grandmother, and my ex’s grandmother were first cousins. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftnref4" name="_ftn4" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%;">[4]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> The family of my paternal
great-great-grandfather, </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skver_(Hasidic_dynasty)#Dynasty_lineage"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Rabbi
Eluzer Twersky</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> - Luzer’s namesake.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftnref5" name="_ftn5" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%;">[5]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Teens at risk didn’t usually refer to drugs, or at risk of joining
the neighborhood gang. Usually it meant boys that have smartphones <i>god
forbid</i>, talk the girls, or just don’t want to study 10 hours a day at
religious schhol. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/yas2114/Desktop/Education%20at%20Columbia%20-%20Copy.docx#_ftnref6" name="_ftn6" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%;">[6]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">As
depicted in this video: </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="https://youtu.be/xnoT1Y-sHXI?t=40s"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">https://youtu.be/xnoT1Y-sHXI?t=40s</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">, produced by the It Gets Besser Project. </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-5423407993747438492016-10-26T20:34:00.001-04:002016-10-26T20:38:18.495-04:00Birth: A Personal Story<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span id="docs-internal-guid-f1b52f22-0390-94b3-c0ec-a138245abfc1"><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“They (the scholars of the </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Shammai" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Beth Shammai </span></a><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Hillel" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Beth Hillel</span></a><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">) took a vote and decided that it were better for humans not to have been created than to have been created. Now that they have been created, let them investigate their past deeds. Others say, let them examine their future actions.”</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span id="docs-internal-guid-f1b52f22-0390-94b3-c0ec-a138245abfc1"><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline;">- <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eruvin_(Talmud)" style="color: #1155cc; text-decoration: none;">Talmud, Eruvin</a></span><span style="vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><span style="color: #1155cc; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://www.halakhah.com/rst/moed/13a%20-%20Eruvin%20-%202a-26b.pdf" style="text-decoration: none;">13b</a></span></span></span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-f1b52f22-0390-94b3-c0ec-a138245abfc1"></span></blockquote>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-f1b52f22-0390-94b3-c0ec-a138245abfc1">
</span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</blockquote>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The above quote is perhaps one of the most challenging teachings of the Talmud, one that has been for generations a great conversation starter in philosophy, psychology, and the catchy ‘</span><a href="http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/life-meaning/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">meaning of life</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> discussions.’</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Personally, this made a lot of sense throughout my childhood, as I was struggling with identity in all of its forms. Of course, if as a little girl everyone is treating you like a little boy, you wonder why you were born. As I got older, and closer to realizing that if I want to succeed in life I have to forge my own identity, the second part ‘let them examine their future action’ seemed about right. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today, on my 25</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 9.6px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> birthday according to the </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebrew_calendar" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jewish calendar</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, I want to share an article about my own birth, inspired by my upcoming speech at “</span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/624081014420761/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Beingwith</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.” It is part of a paper I am currently writing for a class at Columbia, and a really rough draft of a chapter in my upcoming book. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Child Is Born:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6yY6aK8SyDth5qfrAJwGPkusTY8vFEaWFqd0699DJndGGGfwYC4_AC8mqf2H4Dw6Zd1SavX_l2GtTHZ4Ffn5ZoiqErM-_HmjlFF-uLdW8km-ZsOh3uHtadb_9QKS8jyWygc20z2yRzMD8/s1600/14708094_656973837805946_7708298095467064018_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6yY6aK8SyDth5qfrAJwGPkusTY8vFEaWFqd0699DJndGGGfwYC4_AC8mqf2H4Dw6Zd1SavX_l2GtTHZ4Ffn5ZoiqErM-_HmjlFF-uLdW8km-ZsOh3uHtadb_9QKS8jyWygc20z2yRzMD8/s320/14708094_656973837805946_7708298095467064018_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was born on October 1</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 11.199999999999998px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> 1991, or - the way I knew it growing up - the 24</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 11.199999999999998px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">of </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tishrei" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tishrei</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> 5752, at 11:10 pm. It was the final day of the Jewish high holidays season, and the last day of a 9 day straight holiday; </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simchat_Torah" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Simchat Torah</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. I can assure you that if any Jewish mother can choose a day, or more exact a night, to go into labor, that night would be one of the last on the list. After nine days of non stop holiday meals, nine days of inability to wash clothes</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in a household of 7, including five kids under the age of 8, everyone wants to be home cleaning. In addition, no one was expecting me at that point, I was due more than three weeks after that. As my mother would later tell me, she “was just not ready,” and that from birth “I was always doing the unexpected…” At the final celebration of the holiday season, my parents had to drop off my five older sisters at my grandparents, as they rushed to Beth Israel Medical Center, just over the Williamsburg Bridge. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Being born three weeks early also had its physical consequences. As a result of underdeveloped kidneys, I had a tough case of “</span><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001559.htm" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Newborn jaundice</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">”, resulting in 3 blood transfusions, 2 of them within the first 24 hours. For the first time after five births with no complications at all, my mother left the hospital after two days alone, leaving the baby - myself, in the </span><a href="http://www.bidmc.org/YourHealth/Health-Notes/PrepForPregnancy/HighRisk/NICU.aspx" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">NICU</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. For the second and third transfusions my parents managed to secure blood from a </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jewish </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">blood bank,</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> the first transfusion however, came from the general blood bank, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">oy vay</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Years later during my teenage rebellions, my mother would constantly joke that “It has to be they put in ______ </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(add whatever specific rebellion it was)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> blood in you.” Now she probably </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(if she would talk to me)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> jokes that I got female blood, who knows. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">By the time I was born, my parents already had five kids, all of them girls. To my father that was more than a bit challenging. These who are familiar with the Hasidic community know that having a first born son is what every new father, and - more times then not - mother, dreams of and hopes for. The traditional celebrations for a newborn boy are always more than for a newborn girl, and there are additional celebrations for a firstborn boy.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> However, even not as a first born, every Orthodox jew hopes to have at least one son, something called in Yiddish literature a “</span><a href="http://yiddish_english_phrasebook.enacademic.com/548/Kaddishel" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kaddishel</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">” - someone to recite the traditional prayer of remembrance after one passes away. In my family, as in most rabbinical </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(and royal)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> families, a son also means securing a continuation to the dynasty, someone that would one day take over the father’s seat as the rabbi and leader of the community. Naturally, after five girls, my parents, and specifically my father were close to giving up on a son. My mother always says in a half joking-half serious manner that “Everyone pitied your father” what a poor guy, only has girls, and five of them. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My father would often tell me, that when I was born, his excitement was in some ways bigger than that at the birth of my oldest sister. After all, my parents started expecting less than a month after they got married, while my father was barely 18 years old. Got to admit, for a couple that only met once before they got married, and grew up in a strictly gender segregated society, that is really quick. Yet after five girls, the need for a boy was stronger than ever. Most guys his age were already bringing their small boys to </span><a href="http://www.jewfaq.org/shul.htm" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">shul</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and here he is in some ways effectively childless. In my community there is also a custom not to figure out the assigned gender of a baby prior to birth, and there is another custom </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(relating to the laws of </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niddah" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Niddah</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - family purity)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> that the father shouldn't be in the room while the mother gives birth. It is only left to imagine how my father felt during the birth of each kid, waiting outside, hoping to hear the three words “It’s a boy,” and time after time, five kids, he gets “It’s a girl.” Until that day, 24</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 11.199999999999998px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">of Tishrei 5752, the doctor finally came out and said it’s a boy; the happiness is skyrocketing. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Little did he know at the time that he had a sixth girl. Even less did he know that after struggling for more than 20 years, this kid will build up the courage - forced by life itself, and openly proclaim </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqI1ThbJsK8" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I AM A GIRL</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, always was, always will be. My father did indeed have a boy, four of them to be exact, but for that he will have to wait another year </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(my oldest brother was born in January 1993)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the same time, little did this newborn girl know that she will live through a challenging life, a life where she will constantly hear that she is a boy, and how much that means to her family and parents. A long path to self determination awaited her. Even less did she know that she will experience giving birth (emotionally) to her own kid, before she will have a chance to live her own life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Kid Is Born:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was an early winter morning in 2012 when I was standing in the dim lit corridors of Good Samaritan Hospital Maternity Ward, waiting for the doctor or nurse to come out from the room my ex was giving birth to our child. I was barely an adult, a year after I got married in an arranged marriage, and here I was about to turn a parent. My mind was swarming with all kinds of thoughts, which I believe only other parents can relate to. Will I be a good parent? Am I really ready to raise a child? Is the child gonna be healthy? How do I make sure that I am giving this child the most happy life possible? Will my </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(ex)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">wife recover quickly and easily? I can go on forever. Was I ready to be a parent? I guess as much as any other young parent in my community. I knew that our families will be there to help, and that was at least a bit relaxing. Every two minutes I got a phone call from my parents waiting to hear the good news </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(my in laws were at the hospital)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. I was walking nervously up and down, jumping between prayer to questioning myself whatever I actually believe in prayer </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(these were my final days as a believing Hasidic Jew)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After about half an hour the doctor comes out from the room. As he is pulling off his gloves he turns to me: “Mazel Tov! It’s a boy!!!” From all possible responses to hearing the news, I am turning to the doctor and ask: Are you sure? I am thinking to myself: my own life taught me that an assigned gender at birth is not always accurate. The doctor looks at me as if I just got released from the psych ward. Of course it is!? he replies, and walks off. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The weeks and months leading up to my son birth, were exciting, yet extremely challenging. Of course they are all the thoughts and conversations about how to raise a kid, the childbirth itself, starting a family, and more. However personally I was struggling with something more: What if my child is like me. At that point I didn’t even know what “Transgender” really means. From the few peeks I took on the internet, I had just figured out that they are some people who are not the gender they were assigned at birth. All I knew for sure was that the doctor who told my parents “It’s a boy” was wrong. Now here I am getting ready to raise a child on my own, and everyone is ready to gender the child before it is conceived. According to our custom, we did not ask the gender of the child before birth, but gender was hanging all over it. From family and friends bullshitting about how you can tell the gender by the way the mother carries the child, to questions relating to the nursery in our home and clothes. All I could think of is: we might all be wrong. </span></div>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-f1b52f22-0384-f033-a753-4d94f1de7802"></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To be continued… </span></div>
Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-18033858997234539332016-07-12T19:32:00.002-04:002016-07-12T19:32:58.351-04:00Intersectionally: Queer and OTD/XO Pride - A Personal Reflection<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy2jlvdypOTf8L6duy1C-Oa4H3AEiPXlkO0ui1rTJ5_KdHy7lRceps-wVtv6sXTkFUnQS7v1LMAFBM8gKvoFnbS8SO1eld_L3aVy3WMOpxv8QvXIS6SBJMdwNqOJiizPrjdd0898ApphZh/s1600/Pride+Photos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy2jlvdypOTf8L6duy1C-Oa4H3AEiPXlkO0ui1rTJ5_KdHy7lRceps-wVtv6sXTkFUnQS7v1LMAFBM8gKvoFnbS8SO1eld_L3aVy3WMOpxv8QvXIS6SBJMdwNqOJiizPrjdd0898ApphZh/s320/Pride+Photos.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some pictures from this year's Pride</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When a journalist from </span><a href="https://www.yahoo.com/style/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yahoo Style</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> emailed me asking if I would like to answer some questions about Pride Month for a slideshow presentation, I was kind of excited to do it. In the past year since I started this blog </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(I know; hard to believe, but it is almost a year!) </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have realized that it is way more important to talk about these issues </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(-facing transgender individuals leaving fundamentalist religious communities)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> than I originally thought. I heard from more and more people who struggle </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">- each in their own way - </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to live a self-determined life, and decided to do whatever I can to help out. That is a big reason why I agreed to all </span><a href="http://thesecondtransition.blogspot.com/p/articlesmedia_16.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">these media interviews</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and why I keep on doing them. I did cut down a bit in the last few months, but how could one pass on an interview with Yahoo, and even more, a style magazine… However, to be honest, when I saw the questions, I was even more excited. For the first time I had an interview just about pride and LGBT identity, without having to exoticize my background. Super. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Or so I thought.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I started answering the questions determined to talk just about my Queer identity, and leaving my background, and </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Off_the_derech" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">OTD</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">/</span><a href="http://footstepsorg.org/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Footsteper</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">/</span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1027028557378665/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ex-Orthodox</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> identity behind. Don’t get me wrong, I am proud with both of these identities, it is just that every so often I feel that the media tends to focus more on my past, even when trying to focus on the future. After all it is Queer Pride, not OTD pride. </span><a href="https://www.yahoo.com/style/happy-pride-meet-the-women-celebrating-across-the-120242049.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As you can see by reading the article</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, I almost succeeded; up to the final question. I managed to give my favorite </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">secular</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> summer song, my favorite Pride food and dress, etc. Then I was asked to “Talk Like A New Yorker” AKA, say something in juicy NYC slang. Here I failed.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I love NY, and even more so New York City. I am proud to call NYC my birthplace, my hometown where I grew up, the city where I go to school, and the city where I live. However, that is all geographically; culturally, I grew up somewhere else totally. How can I quote New York slang, when I barely knew the English alphabet growing up?</span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZPDdiHJ9fmyXwwb1AYE9prDbeD94G08ODsNoihn2dVGk76S9_kWP6wkRkcecgP16ryS9DVyA2CyYrtnEIgdXsAExeMCyXZTWoK9IsKMH6jg_YHWt2Kpe2Nwui7UMwWzTM03vh-ij5_Dmt/s1600/Yahoo+Pride+Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZPDdiHJ9fmyXwwb1AYE9prDbeD94G08ODsNoihn2dVGk76S9_kWP6wkRkcecgP16ryS9DVyA2CyYrtnEIgdXsAExeMCyXZTWoK9IsKMH6jg_YHWt2Kpe2Nwui7UMwWzTM03vh-ij5_Dmt/s200/Yahoo+Pride+Cover.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The cover photo on the <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/style/happy-pride-meet-the-women-celebrating-across-the-120242049.html" target="_blank">Yahoo Style Article</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">First I thought I will turn to my all time favorite all knowing being, </span><a href="https://www.google.com/search?btnG=1&pws=0&q=Juicy+New+York+City+slang&gws_rd=ssl" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Google,</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and just find some juicy New York slang that I can relate to, so I don’t have to out myself, but then, I realized something bigger. I realized that I am wrong. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They are no separate identities. I have one identity, that is named “Abby Stein”</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (and sometimes using my middle name Chava)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, an identity that doesn’t need labels. That identity is proudly combined from a range of details, but it is One. I found a new respect for the term “Intersectionality” - that so magical word. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Intersectionality</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">- an obvious concept that came to light thanks to WOC during the civil rights movement of the 1960’s, </span><a href="http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Intersectionality" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and coined in 1989,</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> has been, is, and always will be, the backbone of social justice. I never doubted the importance of consciously considering every aspect thereof when we try to create a better world, for everything the world contains. However, for a long time I perceived it as the study of interrelated identities and how they affect each other. One has to be blind not to see that the same people that expressed the strongest racism, also express the strongest sexism, homo/transphobia, classism, and so on. Yet, they were all different social justice issues, that we have to deal with. Now I know that they are not different; they are one.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is impossible to tackle racism or homophobia without tackling sexism, elitism, and ya, antisemitism and Islamophobia. These are not 'related' issues, but one and the same. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On a personal level, for the first time I knew without any doubts; If I want to succeed in tackling the issues facing Trans people leaving Ultra-Orthodoxy and other fundamentalist communities, I have to tackle the issues facing the entire OTD community. These two identities are not </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">inter</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">related, but one and the same. At the same time, we, the entire OTD community has to come together and support the LGBT community, and vice versa. Not because we are both fighting for social equality and self-determination, and they “Sometimes Intersect”, but because they are one and the same. The same goes when it comes to sexism, racism </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(even more within specific </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 13.333333333333332px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(read: Jewish) </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">communities)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, ability, classism, and so on. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know that for so many people reading this, there is nothing new here. But at the same times, way too many social activists think that maybe they can tackle one issue at a time, maybe they can still help some people with what’s ‘easier’ first, so to speak. So here is what I learned: NO YOU CAN NOT!</span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-1c7b4882-e168-1e7e-9ece-7b5f53abf5f6"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On a lighter note, a lot of people have been asking about my observations of the similarities between leaving the Ultra-Orthodox community, and transitioning on the gender spectrum. The more I think about, the more I realize how much they are intertwined. On that, in an article coming soon! </span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>With Xo and Rainbow love,</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "courier new"; font-size: large;">Abby @ </span><b style="line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The Second Transition</span></i></b></span></div>
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Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-31118822004048308512016-05-22T18:36:00.000-04:002016-05-22T18:50:23.537-04:00Romemu, XOxo: <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This post is way overdue, at the same time as it is always in due time, especially now as I am preparing myself for a “Celebration of Life in TRANSition,”[1] next Saturday morning June 4</span><span style="vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8U17ZsgADNcBReQOlZ-_vpk9qWr46X_PQFTHj3G7avGSAt2YBkN-Le0abpYXQBzFT3k9wdM2AmxqOjTtrHc6CIhwlmW0l1ld6HsvQc80pXFRs-Vnm0uHgBk89-4QmWC1oNtCz_nezqVgZ/s1600/2016-05-14+01.03.33.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8U17ZsgADNcBReQOlZ-_vpk9qWr46X_PQFTHj3G7avGSAt2YBkN-Le0abpYXQBzFT3k9wdM2AmxqOjTtrHc6CIhwlmW0l1ld6HsvQc80pXFRs-Vnm0uHgBk89-4QmWC1oNtCz_nezqVgZ/s200/2016-05-14+01.03.33.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was a summery Friday afternoon, exactly three years ago, when I visited this place called </span><a href="https://www.romemu.org/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Romemu</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> for the first time. For over a year, since I have joined </span><a href="http://footstepsorg.org/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Footsteps</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in May of 2012, I have been hearing about this place. All of my ‘secular’ friends </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(aka, people who grew up in the </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasidic_Judaism" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hasidic</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> community and left that world, and were now ‘</span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Off_the_derech" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Off The Derech</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">’)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> who went there were praising it as a place where Judaism is fun and interesting. My friends were talking about how Romemu uses musical instruments on </span><a href="http://www.jewfaq.org/shabbat.htm" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Shabbat</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(which - in the world I grew up - </span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 26.4px; white-space: pre-wrap;">means</span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> that they are not r'really' religious in any way)</span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and yet they still celebrate Shabbat in a meaningful way. However, to me, a youngster in my early twenties who just left my radical religious community of birth, and identified as an </span><a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2015/12/07/a-descendant-of-the-founder-of-hasidic-judaism-just-came-out-as-an-atheist-trans-woman/" style="line-height: 1.8; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 18.6667px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Atheist</span></a><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, exploring anything new felt useless and stupid. I only went to Romemu because a friend of mine was going, and he convinced me to join him.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I got there late, and walked in as the </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbi" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rabbi</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(little did I know that this ‘rabbi’ will one day transform my life in every possible way)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> was giving the sermon. I walked in and walked out after five minutes.</span></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.6667px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What happened, you might ask? The rabbi mentioned “God” </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(how dare).</span></i></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the time, I was suffering - without having a name for it - from “</span><a href="http://www.goddisorder.com/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Post God Traumatic Disorder</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.” A common distress for people who are being raised in radically religious communities </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(okay medical professionals, don’t be upset, I know this is not an official DSM diagnose… but it should be). </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I could not stand to listen to anymore God talk, even if it was on Friday Night, in a synagogue that is hosted in a church, with music on Shabbat, and mixed seating </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(all of these facts are enough to declare a synagogue ‘not Jewish’ for </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haredi_Judaism" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ultra-Orthodox </span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jews).</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Perhaps I did not realize it at the time, but I wasn’t just upset with the God Talk. I was also disappointed and maybe lost </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(here you go, I said it). </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At that point it was a year and a half since I stopped being observant, and even longer since I realized that I don’t believe in that ‘thing’ or whatever it is that my family and community called God, or </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hashem" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hashem</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, or </span><a href="http://www.jewish-languages.org/jewish-english-lexicon/words/8" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Aibishter</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Yet I started to realize that I am missing community, I am missing enjoying the celebrations of the life and year cycles through Shabbat and Holidays, I am slightly missing community, and well, I am even missing hardcore text study. In my mind I knew and believed that religion and everything surrounding it, is 100% man made </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(I still think that until today, but nowadays it is not only not discouraging, but it is empowering), </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and if there is no god, I just ‘cannot’ follow it. Secretly I was hoping to find a place where I can have all of the benefits Judaism has to offer, without believing in some divine existence. I have tried non Jewish/Humanistic communities and none of them felt like home. I think that as much as the rabbi mentioning God turned me off, I was more disappointed that I did not find a new home.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Once again, little did I know that I found a home, and not just a home; I found a lifeline in so many ways.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It took me another six months before I stepped foot in Romemu again. I will maybe share another time how that happened[2], for now, let me make a long </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(maybe not so long in time, but radically long in emotional turbulence)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> story short, at the end of fall 2013, I was back, this time to stay.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Two of the </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(so many) </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">features I observed at Romemu, which convinced me that this is the place for me, were the values of </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radical_egalitarianism" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">radical egalitarianism</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, together with radical acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community, and the celebration of the queer community with pride. At the time, a bystander might have thought that I am a straight, heterosexual, </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisgender" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">cis</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-male. None of these three labels were accurate, and I knew it way too well. I have already shared some of my experience in the past here on my blog, and on </span><a href="http://thesecondtransition.blogspot.com/p/articlesmedia_16.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">national and international media</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. At that time, I was battling some of the worst forms of </span><a href="http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/gender-dysphoria" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gender-dysphoria</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">; I already had a Facebook account with a Female identity, and was active in the online Trans community. I consciously observed and realized, that not only have I found a place that can nurture my need for community, and meaningful mindfulness, but also a place where </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">- if I ever find the courage, or what ended up being the need for survival -</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I can come out, and live life as a woman </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(with a sexuality that I am still figuring out)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> of trans experience, I will have a supporting and loving community.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On top of that, I saw Romemu as a place where I am not an outsider for the fact that I grew up in a sheltered community. To the reverse, it is a place where they are no outsiders, because we are all insiders. The Formerly-Orthodox, or as we call it the XO </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(hence to title of this post)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> community, is a strong and contributing part of the community.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">All together I felt like I found a community straight outta a fairy-tale Disney movie. Yet here, the fairy-tale became a wonderful real-life story!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When the time came last November and I came out, I realized that I was wrong. In my sweetest dreams, I could've not even dared to imagine how this community, of which I was by now a two year long member, will help me and embrace me. From the Rabbis to every community member, young and old. My dear life mentor Rabbi </span><a href="http://forward.com/opinion/184217/how-david-ingber-got-god-intoxicated/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">David Ingber</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, who went above and beyond to help me in private and in public</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (I really can’t say enough about the amount of help and support he gave me, especially with my family)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, including an emotional sermon </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(coming full circle with the sermons here…)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. If you haven’t seen the sermon yet, make sure to check it out on my</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5ybxvnm-CM" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> YouTube channel</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Rabbi </span><a href="https://www.romemu.org/jessica-kate-meyer/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jessica Kate Mayer</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> to whom I first came out; her support has since been pouring non-stop, and she will go out of her way to help. And so on, the entire community. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.6667px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Thank you all. </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wanted the write this post for a while by now, and as I said in the beginning, now it is just in place.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am currently preparing for an event that feels like it will be one of the most important days and celebrations in my life. Next Shabbat Morning, June 4</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 11.199999999999998px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, I will be having a Celebration at Romemu. Call it a </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bar_and_Bat_Mitzvah" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bat Mitzva</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> of sorts. We will do a name change at the </span><a href="http://www.jewfaq.org/torah.htm" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Torah</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, followed by a </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiddush" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kiddush</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, which is the traditional way of celebrating milestones in one’s life. I am doing this event in public not just to celebrate my own life in transition, but to send a message to the entire Jewish-Trans community, the entire queer community, and well, every human being:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 24px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Look, no matter what you think, you can find community, you can, and will find love. Don’t feel alone, because you are not alone. One might think that tradition has no way to accommodate and celebrate us, and maybe it didn’t have until now, but it does now!!!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is also a personal invite to every person reading this. I would love to see you at the event. It is at Romemu, 105</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 11.199999999999998px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super; white-space: pre-wrap;">th</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Street and Amsterdam Avenue on the Upper West Side of New York City. Services start at 10:00, and Kiddush will be at around 12:30. No matter if you attend synagogue every week, or if you have never attended synagogue or any place of worship at all, you are welcome.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.666666666666664px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Also, if you want to contribute to this event in any way or form, especially donate towards the Kiddush, please email at <a href="mailto:abbycstein@gmail.com" target="_blank">abbycstein@gmail.com.</a></span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.6667px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>With Love, xoxo,</i></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "courier new"; font-size: large;">Abby @ </span><b style="line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The Second Transition</span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">[1]Here is the event description from Facebook:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">No matter how we feel about religion, tradition and rituals, there is one thing that I always loved about Judaism; we know how to celebrate and ritualize the life cycle. For two thousand years, Jews all over the world have used the time of Torah (Hebrew Bible) reading, to celebrate different milestones in their, and their families and loved ones' lives. Especially, the naming of a newborn girl.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I want to invite ALL of my friends (I invited 500 of my Facebook friends to this event - the maximum FB allows, Jewish and non Jewish alike, friends I know through Footsteps, Romemu, Columbia University, Camp, Queer Support Groups, and from everywhere else, because I want to see as many of you as possible, feel free to remove yourself from the event) To my celebration at </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/romemu/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #365899; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Romemu</span></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There will be a name change ceremony during reading the Torah, at morning services, starting at 10. And a celebratory Kiddush (lunch) following services at 12:30.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you are at Romemu every week, or if you have never been, or if you have never been to a synagogue at all, you are heartly invited!!!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">[2] I will just mention two books that played a part in that, because well, I love books. “</span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Judaism-Civilization-Reconstruction-American-Jewish-Classic/dp/1330267702" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Judaism as a Civilization</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">” by Rabbi </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mordecai_Kaplan" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mordecai Kaplan</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (founder of the </span><a href="https://jewishrecon.org/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Reconstructionist Movement</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">), was the first book I read about contemporary liberal Jewish Theology and Community development. His work was a great introduction to redefined concepts of God, Jewish Nationality and identity, the role of community, and spirituality outside of the traditional connection with ‘something above’.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The second book, and one that I was introduced to because of Romemu, and which ended up forming most of my current relationships with spirituality and Judaism, was “</span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Jewish-Feeling-Meaningful-Practice-Backgrounds/dp/158023691X" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jewish With Feeling</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">” By The Rebbe, Rabbi </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zalman_Schachter-Shalomi" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Zalman Schachter-Shalomi</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> (founder of </span><a href="https://aleph.org/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jewish Renewal</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">). His book, and then his other teachings, gave me the first tools on how to deal with God, divine, and God talk, while being philosophically an atheist, and how to build a personal meaningful practice.</span></div>
</div>
Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-51135134755943664882016-02-28T02:55:00.001-05:002016-02-29T01:46:20.095-05:00An LGBTisch In the Heart of Orthodoxy: A Reflection On the Past, A Wish For the Future <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was a (a)typical Friday Night in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washington_Heights,_Manhattan">Washington
Heights</a>; the hub of traditional, establishment, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Orthodox_Judaism">Modern Orthodoxy</a>,
and home to its flagship institution - <a href="http://www.yu.edu/">Yeshiva
University</a>. In what would look like a standard YU/<a href="http://www.yu.edu/stern/">Stern</a> </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(YU’s college for women) </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">inspired Friday night <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tish_(Hasidic_celebration)"><i>Tisch</i></a><i>
</i></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(a gathering to sing
and socialize in celebration of the Jewish </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shabbat"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Shabbat</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">, we were a group of over 150 young Jews socializing over
great <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chulent"><i>Chulent</i></a> </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(a Traditional Shabbat dish) </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and songs. Everyone in the room was
having a great time, nothing news worthy about that. Nevertheless, something
else made that event so overwhelmingly special that I decided, I don’t care if
I have time or not, I have to write it down. It was </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(possibly the first of its kind, at
least in that magnitude)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">,
what we called, an <b><u>LGBTisch</u></b> </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(and allies)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">. Almost everyone in the room was from an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthodox_Judaism">Orthodox</a> Jewish
background, and at the same time queer identified - or at least openly
supportive of their Queer friends. Furthermore, most of the people in the room </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(<b>excluding </b>myself…)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> currently identify as Queer-Orthodox
Jews </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(hyphenated
intentionally)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi16PaYtIR2g_IUdaoR0AlxBaYfysSGbmH8AQEiPSZ8fBRy6ojzfnYMfnJ7RwxW14PvIHMzz6x7F2ko_2EvAK501vkMA5eYsF8lrS8HK66HSniKGmowOqRJnpVjrD6pr4pZzhnOPD4PyETu/s1600/LGBTisch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="470" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi16PaYtIR2g_IUdaoR0AlxBaYfysSGbmH8AQEiPSZ8fBRy6ojzfnYMfnJ7RwxW14PvIHMzz6x7F2ko_2EvAK501vkMA5eYsF8lrS8HK66HSniKGmowOqRJnpVjrD6pr4pZzhnOPD4PyETu/s640/LGBTisch.jpg" width="550" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A few
weeks ago, after the <a href="http://www.eshelonline.org/">Eshel</a> National
Retreat, <a href="http://thesecondtransition.blogspot.com/2016/01/reflections-on-jewish-orthodox-lgbt.html">I
was overwhelmed in a similar way</a>. While I am constantly <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2015/12/07/a-descendant-of-the-founder-of-hasidic-judaism-just-came-out-as-an-atheist-trans-woman/">vocal</a>
about my very non-orthodox beliefs and disbeliefs, and proudly identify as a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_atheism">Secular Jew</a> of some
sort </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(and add a few
other labels if you so please, such as </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanistic_Judaism"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Humanist</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">, and lover of </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://aleph.org/"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Jewish-Renewal</span></a></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">, personally, I hate labels)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">, Orthodox Judaism is still part of
who I am. Admittedly, most of my interactions with it are negative, yet it is
not something I can ignore. I can count several reasons; if not for the fact
that wiping out 20 years of one’s life is not that easy, it is for the fact
that my child lives in an Orthodox community, or just an internal </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(naïve?) </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">hope for an in depth awakening within
Orthodoxy. The latter - hope for change within Orthodoxy - is actually the one
reason I gave up on a while ago. Until I woke up to a reality that was
literally just the opposite of what I would expect; I came out as an openly
queer Jew. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It might
sound Ironic, but ‘living out’ as a queer Jew, reinstated my hope for, and
believe in, a better and accepting future within Orthodoxy. I find myself
surrounded by proud Jews more than I ever did in the last four years. Even
more, for the first time since going <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Off_the_derech"><i>Off The Derech</i></a>,
I once again feel welcomed in some Orthodox settings.<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/LGBTisch.docx#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> The LGBTisch was just another, yet amusingly, such an
important milestone in the history of Queer Judaism as a whole, and specifically
Queer Orthodoxy. An outsider reading this probable thinks that I am overreacting.
However, to me, and to the others in the room on that Friday night, it felt
like our very own <a href="http://www.civilrights.org/archives/2009/06/449-stonewall.html">Stonewall
Riots</a> - in some way - although peaceful. 60 years ago our forbearers went
out on the streets of America’s </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(and perhaps the Western World’s) </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[counter-]Cultural Capital, the West
Village, and announced that enough is enough, and it is about time to ‘<a href="http://itgetsbetter.org/">get better</a>’ for the LGBT community. This
time we gathered in </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(one
of) </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">the cultural capital
of Modern-Orthodoxy, and in the ultimate Jewish way - a Friday Night gathering
- we announced that it is time to ‘get <i>besser<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/LGBTisch.docx#_ftn2" name="_ftnref2" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">[2]</span></b></span><!--[endif]--></span></a></i>’
for the Jewish Orthodox-Queer community. There is no better way to launch a
Jewish riot than a group of over 150 Jews - Queer identified, and these who are
just amazingly strong allies - gathering to announce, <b>“Hey Rabbis, hey
Orthodoxy, we are Queer Jews, and we are here to stay.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> The event itself was nothing noteworthy, just singing,
reciting <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torah_study#D.27var_Torah">Divrei
Torah</a></i> </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(words of
wisdom), </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and personal
stories. Nevertheless, exactly that was noteworthy. While we were sitting in a
circle and singing traditional Shabbat songs, as well as old and new<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasidic_Judaism"> Hasidic</a> </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(a 18<sup>th</sup> century
anti-establishment Jewish Movement) </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">songs, in addition to some of our very own Queer versions </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(such as ‘Anshei Chayel’<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/LGBTisch.docx#_ftn3" name="_ftnref3" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">[3]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a>)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">, <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfQ9Pjuwa9BhWAa_pYW2plBfgY4aRqnwcBQztJMHEQ0cHqeQbCfLCNmgjHPvVWcbDi3Tr5H0hnSL4ITh1-vbjAM2I1ynV6G21FnoDK4HVRDEMzT3C5FyDLmz3ErAKzSTkQt70gsKaJcWe6/s1600/Screenshot+%25288%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfQ9Pjuwa9BhWAa_pYW2plBfgY4aRqnwcBQztJMHEQ0cHqeQbCfLCNmgjHPvVWcbDi3Tr5H0hnSL4ITh1-vbjAM2I1ynV6G21FnoDK4HVRDEMzT3C5FyDLmz3ErAKzSTkQt70gsKaJcWe6/s320/Screenshot+%25288%2529.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of the original songs performed at the event...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I couldn’t stop wondering where all
these queer orthodox people come from. At one point during the night, I could
not help myself but turn to one of my local friends and check in whatever they
are any Cis/Straight Jews living in Washington Heights… I met some of the most courageous,
self-determent, yet community oriented human beings. They were old friends; and
I made new ones, they were people who are ‘out’; and they were these who are
still finding their way out, but altogether it was one of the best groups of people
I have ever spend time with. While I am writing these words, over a week later,
I am still tearing up, and cannot find a way to describe it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> I want to touch on one other point. Thankfully, the Jewish
community, especially in the North America, does not lack in LGBT support
groups. From LGBT specific organizations such as <a href="http://www.jqyouth.org/">JQY</a>, <a href="http://www.keshetonline.org/">Keshet</a>,
<a href="http://www.eshelonline.org/">Eshel</a>, and more, to numerous Queer
support groups within existing Jewish communities and college campuses </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(<u>YU might be one of the only Universities
in New York without an official LGBT support group</u>)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">. Nonetheless, most of these groups
are by queer people for queer people, and that is amazing. What is even better
is an event like this one, one that is clearly open and inviting to our amazing
“Allies.” The reason for that is twofold. First and foremost, it serves those
who need our support perhaps more than anyone else - people that are still ‘in
the closet’ so to speak. No doubt, we are sadly still living in a world where
we need to DO SOMETHING to get our so needed support as Queer Humans, but for
our siblings still in hiding, this is life support. Only an event that is open
to allies can achieve this goal. Then, there is the hope for change. We are not
just trying to survive as our true selves; we are trying to thrive, within the
broader human family. In my humble opinion, having more LGBT AND Allies events,
is bringing us closer to this goal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> Okay enough said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> I am writing this post as a way of reflecting and sharing
my own personal feelings, yet the stronger message is one I want to share with
the world, the Jewish community, and above all, with Orthodox Judaism. We still
have a long way to go. I am totally ignoring the fact that all of this is happening
within the boundaries of Modern-Orthodoxy, which is still at the very beginning
of its way towards equality. I am not even thinking </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(as of now) </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">about my community of origin, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haredi_Judaism">Ultra-Orthodoxy</a>.<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/LGBTisch.docx#_ftn4" name="_ftnref4" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">[4]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> It is
heartbreaking that an event like this in Hasidic <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Williamsburg,_Brooklyn">Williamsburg</a> or
<i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeshivish">Yeshivish</a></i> </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(non-Hasidic <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lithuanian_Jews">Lithuanian</a> Ultra-Orthodox
Jews) </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lakewood_Township,_New_Jersey">Lakewood</a>
- in the open, is beyond anyone’s wildest/sweetest dream. However, we are
sending a clear message. <b>To the establishment, the rabbis, institutions,
etc. we are exclaiming: <u>WE ARE HERE TO STAY. We, Queer Jews of Orthodox
background, are not going anywhere. We grew, we are growing, and we will grow,
in numbers and in depth. It is about time to show us the ultimate Jewish value
of love, and endurance.<o:p></o:p></u></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> At the same time, <b>we have a message to every struggling individual,
within religious communities and beyond. A message that I have said before, and
will continue to preach until there isn’t even a single child, living in a
world that tells them ‘your feelings are erroneous’ who has not heard this memorandum:
</b></span><b><u><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="color: blue;">YOU ARE NOT
ALONE. You are not crazy, you are not a sinner, but you ARE amazing! We are
here for you. There is a loving community, made up by some of the most
inspiring individuals alive, waiting to share their love!!!</span><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 24px; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 28px;"><em>With sight on the future,</em></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 24px; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "courier new"; font-size: x-large;">Abby @ </span><b style="line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: x-large;">The Second Transition</span></i></b></div>
<div>
<!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><br clear="all" />
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<!--[endif]-->
<br />
<div id="ftn1">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/LGBTisch.docx#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> No worries, the chances of me becoming
orthodox again are lower than the chances of becoming a Buddhist or Sufi… sorry
Orthodox friends, had to say it.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div id="ftn2">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/LGBTisch.docx#_ftnref2" name="_ftn2" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">[2]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a>
Yiddish for Better.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div id="ftn3">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/LGBTisch.docx#_ftnref3" name="_ftn3" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">[3]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> Find
the full text in the first comment on this post. Feel free to post corrections
and edits, as well as to copy it and use it as you please.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div id="ftn4">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/LGBTisch.docx#_ftnref4" name="_ftn4" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">[4]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> I can not skip on that without mentioning the lifesaving organization “Footsteps” which
helps these who are leaving Ultra-Orthodox communities. In addition to being a place that
encourages every member to live their own life to the fullest, it is one of the
most LGBT friendly spaces I am part of. Find us at <a href="http://footstepsorg.org/">http://footstepsorg.org/</a>. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
</div>
Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-3037538832576804552016-02-07T17:10:00.004-05:002016-02-07T17:10:49.830-05:00My FB Response to Columbia Queer Alliance (CQA)<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.5pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">This is what I wrote on Facebook as a reply to </span></span><a href="https://cqa1.wordpress.com/" style="color: #141823; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;" target="_blank">Columbia Queer Alliance</a><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">'s post supporting "</span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">Apartheid</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> Divest" (I am intentionally NOT putting a link) - which is pretty much the Columbia chapter of the international <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boycott,_Divestment_and_Sanctions" target="_blank">BDS</a> movement.</span></span></i></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.5pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></span></i></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;"><a href="https://cqa1.wordpress.com/2016/02/04/official-cqa-statement-of-solidarity-with-columbia-university-apartheid-divest/" target="_blank"><i>Here is CQA's original post.</i></a></span></span></blockquote>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am not sure what to say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As an openly queer Columbia
student, I now feel excluded, and in some ways, marginalized within my own
marginalized community.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK8032f3QqThJXr1KD0a-U3iMyyeQ_VZtB6v7S-AlOQ4lwFzNkIonOZ2WfXW3I2he-ua1ELSh-YkCEtyhyphenhyphenGhiFUSrlJ90zKyrKh50jVa6QqCKO375Z7izNVUCYjhgacLV7zJ-KhoK4Wd6C/s1600/12694912_545173342319330_176824576130975775_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK8032f3QqThJXr1KD0a-U3iMyyeQ_VZtB6v7S-AlOQ4lwFzNkIonOZ2WfXW3I2he-ua1ELSh-YkCEtyhyphenhyphenGhiFUSrlJ90zKyrKh50jVa6QqCKO375Z7izNVUCYjhgacLV7zJ-KhoK4Wd6C/s320/12694912_545173342319330_176824576130975775_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Poster for J Street CU's event, at the Columbia/Barnard Hillel<br />We had an amazing discussion with an amazingly diverse crowd<br />about how to find alternative ways to end to occupation while<br />preserving our belief in Israel's right to exist in peace.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I agree, and I am outspoken about
the Human Rights problems in the </span><span style="color: #141823; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(entire) </span><span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Middle East. I joined<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=40102638699" href="http://www.jstreetu.org/" style="cursor: pointer;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3b5998; text-decoration: none;">J Street U</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>at Columbia with one main goal: fight
the occupation of the Palestinians in a productive way. My pro-Palestinian
stance has put me in odds with many of my Jewish friends, and even more so,
with the few family members w<span class="textexposedshow">ho still talk to me.
Yet I do not support BDS for to many reasons.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">BDS clearly undermines Israel’s rights to exist, which is somewhat
ironic as we are all supposed to fight for the right of self-determination. I
have had Jewish family and ancestors in Israel/Palestine going back to the 16th
century </span><span style="color: #141823; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(at least). </span><span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">BDS is telling me that I have no
right to my heritage. Let us not even talk about the fact that a group that is
constantly quoting UN resolutions </span><span style="color: #141823; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(rightfully) </span><span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">ignores other resolutions from the same body all the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">BDS has proven to jeopardize peaceful negotiations towards a two
state solution on both sides. Well, some members of the movement, including the
co-founder openly said that they do not want Two States.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">BDS has thus far affected the Palestinian economy more than it
did the Israeli economy. As a Jew who strongly identifies as Pro-Palestinian, I
find this challenging.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">BDS ignores domestic politics. This movement is strengthening
the Israeli Right in unprecedented ways. The fact that Israel now has a right
wing government that is not interested in a peaceful solution is in large ways
thanks to the international BDS movement. That hurts so many of my fellow
liberal Jews.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I want to see an end the
occupation. I want to see an end to the human rights violations against
Palestinians. I want to see an end to the suffering of every human being, Jews,
Arab and Druze alike 'from the River to the Sea', and BDS is not helping.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I wish that next time I visit the
State of Israel; I should be able to visit the beautiful cities of Ramallah,
Jericho, and Nablus as part of the sovereign State of Palestine.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
I feel that BDS is standing in the way of achieving these goals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So CQA, please take notice that
BDS, even the majority of its members really mean well, is not the best way, if
an effective way at all, to fight for Human Rights, something that we, Queer
people, have been fighting to achieve for years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-7361024991813666462016-01-27T19:01:00.000-05:002016-01-27T19:09:53.119-05:00I Have Daddy and Mommy Issues: Yet I Am Finally Proud With It. A Trans Woman Coming To Terms With Rejection<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0.6in 3pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">“Mom, our family is breaking up because I’m a
transsexual, and I can’t live as a man anymore.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0.6in 3pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Years crowded into silence between us, years long gone
and years yet to be lived. I thought I had prepared myself to lose her. <u>After
all, I told myself, you’ve never really had her</u>. But, in that phase, when
truly motherless years were only a breath away, <u>I realized that I had never
stopped clinging to the hope of her. <o:p></o:p></u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0.6in 3pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’ve heard about this,” she said at last. Her voice,
rich and low, trained for a radio career she had never had, was thick with
feeling. “<u>I know that you have to be who you are, and, no matter what that
is, you will always be my child</u>.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0.6in 3pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">The air above my head felt empty. The sword that had
always dangled above me, the terror of what would happen if my mother
discovered what I was, was gone.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0.6in 6pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjV84j_-MrKAhVknIMKHTvEDXUQFggjMAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yu.edu%2Ffaculty%2Fpages%2FLadin-Joy&usg=AFQjCNEtEWvhUe4UrmMIBK-Hm_z5pN7f6A"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="color: blue;">Joy Ladin</span></span></b></a></span><span style="line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">, </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=6&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjV84j_-MrKAhVknIMKHTvEDXUQFgg-MAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FThrough-Door-Life-Journey-Autobiog%2Fdp%2F0299287343&usg=AFQjCNHwVMmvGnKk2c23dyF0lesiGG-MPg"><i><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="color: blue;">Through the
Door of Life: A Jewish Journey Between Genders</span></span></i></a></span><span style="line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">, page 119<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Anyone
who has been following my life experiences, in person, online on this blog, on
different </span><a href="http://www.thesecondtransition.blogspot.com/p/articlesmedia_16.html"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="color: blue;">media</span></span></a><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> outlets, or just via social media,
knows that I rarely talk about my current relationship with my family </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">(besides
one genetic </span><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/daviddeeey/posts/524238841079447"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="color: blue;">post</span></span></a></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"> I wrote
over </span><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanukkah"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="color: blue;">Hanukkah</span></span></a></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">). </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">That is not in any way because there
is nothing to talk about; there is a lot to talk. Neither is it because I don’t
care; I care more that I care to care. Rather it is because I can’t, I just
cannot bring myself to talk about it. It hurts so much, so strongly and so
deeply, yet </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">(at least until now) </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I feel numb. I wanted to cry, just cry aloud like a newborn
child, but my feelings are </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">(/were) </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">hard as a stone. On the other hand, I would rather describe
it as deeply hidden beneath a rock. A Rock so big that the weight of it is more
than any human being should ever have to carry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today, as I read these above paragraphs, I managed to break
through my stone-hard heart. I cried for over an hour, and I am in tears while
I am writing these words. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Since I was a child writing was my best therapy. I always
used it to explain my inner feelings - to myself. Sharing it in public will
help me more, and hopefully others who struggle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">These are some of my thoughts
about my parents and family. Some of the reflections and heartaches I would
like to get off my chest:</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri light" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri light" , sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">This is my way
of doing it. The support I got until now from so many beautiful people in this
beautiful world has been lifesaving, and I am counting on that even more. At
the same time, please respect my families and my own privacy, and don’t ask for
details I have not shared, as I don’t plan to share too many personal details,
but rather emotional.</span></i><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh224laXivQwJvK7B0Hh7iJNxNrztTdhlDsXUfL9jkNF2naBstiWiJvssZ79ScY2oRE9pVbeJtk2nBtfPr6o5Tb04DEoEHEmxHLV0vnxMBX8QoGfBwZ5uL1lbwQjBABOfz4nhcdrzk81c8U/s1600/Bobov.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh224laXivQwJvK7B0Hh7iJNxNrztTdhlDsXUfL9jkNF2naBstiWiJvssZ79ScY2oRE9pVbeJtk2nBtfPr6o5Tb04DEoEHEmxHLV0vnxMBX8QoGfBwZ5uL1lbwQjBABOfz4nhcdrzk81c8U/s320/Bobov.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">My father, <a href="http://hamodia.com/2015/04/21/harav-yosef-moshe-meisels-zl/" target="_blank">maternal grandfather</a>, and my great uncle, the<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shlomo_Halberstam_(third_Bobover_rebbe)" target="_blank"> Bobov'er Rebbe</a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">On <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upsherin" target="_blank">my third birthday</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If someone would ask me how I would describe my relationship
with my parents, and even more specifically my father, prior to 2012 <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Off_the_derech"><span style="color: blue;">when I left religion</span></a>, I
would have to come on with a new term. Father-son relationship wouldn’t do
justice. My father was one of my best friends; my father was probable one of the
only people on earth who understood me in some way. For example, through my
entire teenage years he was one of the only people who sincerely believed that
there is something more going on beneath my identity struggles; and he was
right. However, that this struggle might have anything to do with gender
identity did not cross his mind,<a href="file:///C:/Users/bohnettcybercenter/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/Temporary%20Internet%20Files/Content.IE5/KFVKQCPQ/parents%20post.docx" name="_ftnref1" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn1;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: blue;">[1]</span></span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> because to him, cross-gender
identity was a hypothetical idea discussed only in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabbalah"><i><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="color: blue;">Kabbalah</span></span></i></a><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">(Jewish Mysticism). </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">My father was the ONLY person in the world with whom I
knew I can always be </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">honest (not that I was, but that is a separate
conversation)</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, no matter
what. He was the ultimate embodiment of the superficial “father figure” - but
in a close reality. We had a lot of hiccups throughout the years, as my
identity struggles all so often manifested in different ways, but we only grew
closer.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My parents have 13 kids, with eight of them marries that
makes it 21, and tens of grandkids </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">(I lost count)</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, yet they both </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">(used to,
by now they only speak to twelve of them)</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> speak with all of them <b>every day.</b> Growing up I
thought this is how it is in every family. My father spoke to his parents<a href="file:///C:/Users/bohnettcybercenter/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/Temporary%20Internet%20Files/Content.IE5/KFVKQCPQ/parents%20post.docx" name="_ftnref2" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn2;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: blue;">[2]</span></span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> every day, it just felt
‘normal’ that we do the same. Until I went to boarding school at age 15 and I
realized that this is not the norm, and in most families, kids speak with their
parents a few times a week at most. Up to a few months ago, or to be exact, up
until I came out to my father, I spoke with them every day. We disagreed on
everything in life, but we were on the phone every day. </span> </div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhddr1Wnl1exWx8cLJczX7W0tv8pjv_lyR_oiKTCwMXZGBwe5xJLS8_H_hLasMbHW-fArDw5wOdHaIMI0iMQ3pvnv-63gdVvoUEFM4ufL2ssBN14TBuOTGrjV854MuIJj7-fxG8jq_2yDhO/s1600/Mom+and+Duvid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhddr1Wnl1exWx8cLJczX7W0tv8pjv_lyR_oiKTCwMXZGBwe5xJLS8_H_hLasMbHW-fArDw5wOdHaIMI0iMQ3pvnv-63gdVvoUEFM4ufL2ssBN14TBuOTGrjV854MuIJj7-fxG8jq_2yDhO/s320/Mom+and+Duvid.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mother with my son on his <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upsherin" target="_blank">third birthday</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My mother was kind of my doctor. She always said that
having raised thirteen kids made her a better a doctor than a medical school
ever could, and she was right 90% of the time. Whenever we </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">(my
siblings and I) </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">wouldn’t
feel well, she would know what it is just by looking on us. We would go to the
doctor, but when we came home, she knew what the doctor said before we had a
chance to tell her. Until two months ago, she was the first one to know when I
was not feeling in best, and she was accessible by phone 24 hours a day, six
days a week. I always knew that I can’t call her at three in the morning hoping
that if she asleep she just wouldn’t pick up, because her phone was never on
silence. She has thirteen kids, eight in-laws, tens of grandkids, and she knew
every time one of us went on a doctor’s visit. Just like my father, she was -
to me - the ultimate embodiment of the Mother figure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Throughout my life’s transitions, the thought of losing my
relationship with my parents was always on top of my list of possible “Side defects”
to living a self-determined life. It is one of the reasons I pushed off every change
- especially to the big changes of leaving my ultra-religious community and
coming out as a woman - until the last minute. However, it gets to a point
where one realizes that “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>You cannot
be a family member, you cannot be a child or sibling, if you are not you.”</u></b>
I always waited until I was a point where I simply wasn’t. When it got to a
point where it was my sole existence and survival versus endangering my relationship
with my parents, the option was clear. If I don’t exist, if I am not alive
physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I have lost my family
anyway. That was the belief and underlying understanding in family relationship
that guided my actions, and is guiding them until today. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When I came out to my father as an <a href="http://atheists.org/"><span style="color: blue;">Atheist</span></a>, I was ready for the possibility that
he will reject me outright. Yet to my great excitement his response was pretty much
like the one of Joy Ladin’s mother in the abovementioed quote. His exact words
were: “No matter what happens, no matter how you are, you are still my kid<a href="file:///C:/Users/bohnettcybercenter/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/Temporary%20Internet%20Files/Content.IE5/KFVKQCPQ/parents%20post.docx" name="_ftnref3" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn3;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: blue;">[3]</span></span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">(okay, he
said son)</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">.” I continued
to speak withboth of my parents almost every day, I still visited on holidays
and family weddings, and so on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That all changed on Wednesday November 11<sup>th</sup>, the
day I came out to my father.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As much as when I came out to my parents as non-observant I
was a point of knowing that I cannot pretend to be religious anymore, coming
out as a woman was when I was already at a point of no return, after two months
on <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy"><span style="color: blue;">HRT</span></a>.
I knew that I had to come out to my parents if I don’t want them to hear it
from other people, I owed them that much. I knew it is going to hurt them
deeply, I knew that the shame in a community that is not ready in any way to
accept anything outside of its White Hetro-Normative lifestyle, put aside
gender transition in a radically segregated society – is going to be close to unbearable.
Yet at the same time I knew that I am not doing anything wrong. Wrong would be
for me to continue to be in the closet until I would die physically and/or
emotionally. As my therapist kept on telling me, and I know it is true, “<u>they
are doing it to themselves.</u>” I had to tell them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I chose the most appropriate way to do that. I called my
father and told him that I want to tell him something, but I want to do it in
front of a rabbi. He came down to the house of that Rabbi, and we both spoke to
him in the most Jewish, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasidic_Judaism"><span style="color: blue;">Hasidic</span></a><a href="file:///C:/Users/bohnettcybercenter/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/Temporary%20Internet%20Files/Content.IE5/KFVKQCPQ/parents%20post.docx" name="_ftnref4" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn4;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: blue;">[4]</span></span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> and <a href="https://www.sefaria.org/sheets/24596"><span style="color: blue;">Kabbalistic</span></a> way possible. I was
not expecting acceptance, well, I was prepared for utter rejection, but I was
secretly hoping for a similar response to until now. Think that I am sick,
think that I am crazy </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">(for now)</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, but talk to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>His response was: “You should know that this means I might
not be able to talk to you ever again.” When I told him that the attempted suicide
rate for people of trans experience is high, in a society that still has problems
accepting us, and I asked if he would prefer me dead, he said “I am not going
to response” - this killed me internally. Finally, he said “I will <u>find a
way</u> to let you know what I decide </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">(regarding staying in touch)</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">” and for the first time in my life,
he left me without even a handshake. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I HEARD FROM MY PARENTS.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Naturally it bothered me in the beginning, but when after
an hour it stopped bothering me whatsoever, it bothered me that I am not
crying. I can cry while watching <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy_Meets_Girl_(2014_film)"><span style="color: blue;">Boy Meets Girl</span></a>
or <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transparent_(TV_series)"><span style="color: blue;">Transparent</span></a>,
but my mind and heart were numb when it came to my parents. The fact that I
felt like I don’t care while I knew I cared, bothered me more than anything, I
knew it is unhealthy, I knew that I have to cry it out, but I couldn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitnCOUhUvqnSysLF9mvoad5tZyX_yw6V7Oa4xG4Frzk08GIFjGOCkeOrwzdSjz1cLJ83MQLyciTpAqzzswpOsMkujjIy2ZVyG3Jsy0V6BHZ0t_xHolGAEKE3EnDhCeKjVmpONg9uyR-i6B/s1600/Parents+with+Duvid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitnCOUhUvqnSysLF9mvoad5tZyX_yw6V7Oa4xG4Frzk08GIFjGOCkeOrwzdSjz1cLJ83MQLyciTpAqzzswpOsMkujjIy2ZVyG3Jsy0V6BHZ0t_xHolGAEKE3EnDhCeKjVmpONg9uyR-i6B/s400/Parents+with+Duvid.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My parents, my son, and myself, on my son's third birthday</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today I mourn the loss of my dear parents. I know this
whole post sounds like a vigil journal entry, which is about right. This is how
I feel. Today I celebrate in the most non-celebratory way possible a sad milestone.
A milestone of realizing, coming to terms, and starting to heal the loss of my
family. I don’t give up, I hope that they will come around in some way, but for
the first time in months I feel like I have my family back. It is a family that
is still lost, it is a family to whom I am still lost </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">(at best)</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, but it is a family that is openly
on my heart, it is a family that I am no longer numb to. I DO NOT REGRET MY
DECSION, EVERN IF I WOULD HAVE KNOWN CLEARLY THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE THE
RESULT. More than ever, I know and feel that I have a family that I am trying
my best to be part of.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I am writing all of this not just to cry about <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">daddy and mommy issues</b> that I proudly have.
I am writing to help myself make sense of all of this, and to tell the world,
and others that are struggling that <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>“You
cannot be a family member, you cannot be a child or sibling, if you are not
you. If your family gets hurt by you living a self-determent life, know that
they are doing it to themselves. You are not doing anything bad to them.” </u></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><em>Writing in tears of longing and relief combined,</em></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New; font-size: x-large;">Abby @ </span><b style="line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: x-large;">The Second Transition</span></i></b></div>
<div style="mso-element: footnote-list;">
<!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><br /></div>
<hr align="left" size="1" width="33%" />
<!--[endif]-->
<br />
<div id="ftn1" style="mso-element: footnote;">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/bohnettcybercenter/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/Temporary%20Internet%20Files/Content.IE5/KFVKQCPQ/parents%20post.docx" name="_ftn1" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn1;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: blue;">[1]</span></span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></span></a><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"> And even when I tried telling him when I came to him
that daddy you were right, something was going on, and this is what it is, he
refused to accept it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div id="ftn2" style="mso-element: footnote;">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/bohnettcybercenter/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/Temporary%20Internet%20Files/Content.IE5/KFVKQCPQ/parents%20post.docx" name="_ftn2" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn2;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: blue;">[2]</span></span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></span></a><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"> Who also had ten kids, and by now have hundreds of
grandkids and great-grandkids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div id="ftn3" style="mso-element: footnote;">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/bohnettcybercenter/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/Temporary%20Internet%20Files/Content.IE5/KFVKQCPQ/parents%20post.docx" name="_ftn3" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn3;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: blue;">[3]</span></span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></span></a><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"> He did add an ‘explanation’ that he looks on it as if
I am sick, and if his kid gets cancer he is not going to reject them. It
bothered me the way he looked on it, and for the next four years we had a ‘don’t
ask, don’t tell relationship, but we had a relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div id="ftn4" style="mso-element: footnote;">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/bohnettcybercenter/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/Temporary%20Internet%20Files/Content.IE5/KFVKQCPQ/parents%20post.docx" name="_ftn4" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn4;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: blue;">[4]</span></span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></span></a><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"> For reference how much Hasidic Judaism means to my
father: He is the tenth generation of the founder of the Hasidic movement,
Rabbi <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baal_Shem_Tov"><span style="color: blue;">Israel Ben Eliezer
- the Ball Shem Tov</span></a>, in five different ways, and he always preached that to
us, non-stop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-28668099229438748212016-01-25T20:14:00.001-05:002016-01-26T15:29:16.414-05:00Reflections on a Jewish-Orthodox LGBT+ Retreat: There Is Hope! (Eshel National Retreat 2016)<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz4Tr7u2h7E7DpzJp7UlDEM7KGE5q-dLXcbgIqR3Ep_XBwkGvGY3zBcavQep4hpQW3SYZfLZSSb7Bx-7k4T3EYiDIbyhLjOWPqcH-WkQbsoX-mJO3D6I8lqhBGfCMFsXfAdt8V8xXylk-N/s320/12583676_10153430094419895_32871621_n.jpg" style="display: none;" />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A few weeks ago, I did an
<a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2015/12/07/a-descendant-of-the-founder-of-hasidic-judaism-just-came-out-as-an-atheist-trans-woman/">interview</a>
with one of my favorite blogs, <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist">Friendly Atheist</a>. One
of the questions the interviewer asked, was how I see my relationship with
Judaism nowadays identifying as a Jewish-Atheist Woman of Trans experience. As
usual, my response was that I believe in Judaism more than I believe god. The
way I explained it was </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(one
of the points; I hate quoting myself, but in this case it works best)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">: “</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I like the
community life, and also, interestingly enough, especially in the U.S., the
liberal and progressive Jewish communities are usually more accepting and more
progressive than the general American population.” I meant what I said, to me
this is one of the beauties of progressive Judaism.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">When I said that, I was referring to the Jewish communities I was
involved with. First and foremost, the </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://aleph.org/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Jewish
Renewal</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> movement and </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://romemu.org/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Romemu</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> that has been in the forefront of fighting for radical
inclusivity in American Judaism and beyond since the ‘70s. As well as the </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://jewishrecon.org/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Reconstructionist</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> and </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.urj.org/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Reform</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> movements </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">(which was one of the first major
religious group in the US to </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.urj.org/what-we-believe/resolutions/resolution-rights-transgender-and-gender-non-conforming-people"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">formally adopt a resolution</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;"> welcoming people of trans experience this past year)</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, College </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.hillel.org/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Hillels</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, and even the </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.uscj.org/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Conservative</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> world to some extent. However, I was clearly not talking about
Orthodoxy, definitely not the Ultra-Orthodox Jewish communities, but not even
most Modern-Orthodox communities; they still have a long way to go towards full
acceptance and equality. It did not seem like I will change my views on
Orthodoxy anytime soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Last weekend, I put it to test, in form of attending an Orthodox
LGBT reatreat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1bGY-T6mYwrj7DSbN4ndAEHqNo2pSc5JZYJluvf-jYDZTFOtmOUJtBwOnjksfmmpEXF62bjZeUP1DcK9T5fshLbETd290ETdKc5qgVy-3ZTNJ3VVijrhjZB5PRxAqY6ag-Qy9kvgOQ0dj/s1600/20160116_181837.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1bGY-T6mYwrj7DSbN4ndAEHqNo2pSc5JZYJluvf-jYDZTFOtmOUJtBwOnjksfmmpEXF62bjZeUP1DcK9T5fshLbETd290ETdKc5qgVy-3ZTNJ3VVijrhjZB5PRxAqY6ag-Qy9kvgOQ0dj/s320/20160116_181837.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The new Reb Zalman Memorial Library at IFJRC</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">When I signed up to attend the </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://eshelonline.org/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Eshel</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> National Retreat,
I was torn. There is a strong possibility that if not for the fact that it was
at the </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://hazon.org/isabella-freedman/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Isabella
Freedman Jewish Retreat Center</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> - the hub of
Jewish Renewal and home to </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://hazon.org/elat-chayyim/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Elat
Chaim</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, I would not have signed up. Eshel
is officially an Orthodox organization, and while they are inclusive to
non-orthodox and formally-orthodox people, it is still an Orthodox environment,
and it is no secret that I don’t Love that. Yet, I decided to give it a try,
let me see what is </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">A</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> possible future in
the Orthodox world. Now, if I do something, why not do it all the way. I signed
up to attend, to offer a session on </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.sefaria.org/sheets/24596"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Gender in Kabbala</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, talk on a panel, and give two </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daf_Yomi"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Daf Yomi</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> classes </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">(ya, shocking, I know).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I have to admit, <u>I came home with a better view of Orthodoxy.</u>
Still not planning on ever finding myself as an observant Orthodox Jew </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">(again)</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, but if there was something that
could have changed my views, change my utter despair that “Orthodoxy is never
going to come around”, it was that weekend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">So here are a few short reflections on an amazing weekend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">One of the biggest benefits was meeting some amazing people.
Starting with pioneers in Jewish LGBT+ advocacy, such as </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://awiderbridge.org/gay-orthodox-and-outspoken/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Shlomo Ashkinazy</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">, who carries 45 years of diligent work for equality, and </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Greenberg_(rabbi)"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Rabbi Steve Greenberg</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> author of </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wrestling-God-Men-Homosexuality-Tradition/dp/0299190943"><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif";">Wrestling with God and Men: Homosexuality
in the Jewish Tradition</span></i></a></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> and co-director of
Eshel. Moreover, I got to spend more than two full days with 125 strong, bold,
beautiful and beyond courageous human beings, who were all screaming “We are Jewish
and Queer” in one way or another. Everyone had a unique, yet - sadly – so
similar story. We were a group of people that were raised all over the world,
and from Ultra-Orthodox to Non-Jewish families. People of all colors and ages,
and with different levels of education, wealth and status. Nevertheless, we are
all trying to figure out, or better, work on, our dual identities as queer and
Jewish, each to their own.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">On Friday night we had a panel that was kind of the ‘Keynote’
speech(es) of the Retreat. We had five people on the panel, moderated by Rabbi
Steve Greenberg. We each got about twenty minutes to talk about our experiences
growing up in our respective communities, as well as our current relationship
with Judaism. My favorite part of the panel was the diversity of the panelists.
One of us was a professional TedX lecturer from a Modern-Orthodox background,
who identifies as gay. Another was a woman raised in a secular community, and
is now living with her wife and kids in an Orthodox community. Another one was
a middle-aged queer person who has been fighting for equality in his Orthodox synagogue
for years. Then there way my amazing dear friend and schoolmate, <a href="http://columbiaspectator.com/contributors/talia-lakritz">Talia Lakritz</a>,
aka <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/nerdwithavoice">Nerd With A Voice</a>,
who in addition to being the best LGBT ally I know of, was one of the first
people I came out to, and helped me tremendously. Then there was me, a
Formally-Orthodox, outspoken Atheist yet follower of Jewish Renewal, who loves
Jewish culture and community.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Again, what brought us together was a shared vision for a future where
Jewish <b>ORTHODOX</b> communities are accepting of the LGBT community in all
its colors and alphabet. On top of that, this all happened in an Orthodox
setting, moderated by a 100% observant Orthodox Rabbi. Yet none of us had to
hide who we are and what we do or don’t believe in, in any way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz4Tr7u2h7E7DpzJp7UlDEM7KGE5q-dLXcbgIqR3Ep_XBwkGvGY3zBcavQep4hpQW3SYZfLZSSb7Bx-7k4T3EYiDIbyhLjOWPqcH-WkQbsoX-mJO3D6I8lqhBGfCMFsXfAdt8V8xXylk-N/s1600/12583676_10153430094419895_32871621_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz4Tr7u2h7E7DpzJp7UlDEM7KGE5q-dLXcbgIqR3Ep_XBwkGvGY3zBcavQep4hpQW3SYZfLZSSb7Bx-7k4T3EYiDIbyhLjOWPqcH-WkQbsoX-mJO3D6I8lqhBGfCMFsXfAdt8V8xXylk-N/s320/12583676_10153430094419895_32871621_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Performance of marriage arrangement </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZchX48NpymN_eizWL1lt9jkB78EjS8Ua5NGNtvhvtvUg_KUzZ7_eaXBxV0qJPujzhMsckGJCiG_n9xb7-yda3dIZaYBeOeiUrD-qgCteYpjBc3yTdiqJAbOEe2qIaCObGPbMpdpyBE9uX/s1600/20160117_002712.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZchX48NpymN_eizWL1lt9jkB78EjS8Ua5NGNtvhvtvUg_KUzZ7_eaXBxV0qJPujzhMsckGJCiG_n9xb7-yda3dIZaYBeOeiUrD-qgCteYpjBc3yTdiqJAbOEe2qIaCObGPbMpdpyBE9uX/s320/20160117_002712.jpg" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Talia performing Dear RCA at the Talent Show</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I can go on and talk more about these 48 hours. The amazing </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">(hopefully) </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">lifelong friends we all made. The
Shabbos morning service where a trans-woman had her first <i>Aliya</i> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">(being called up to read from the <i>Torah</i>-Hebrew Bible) </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">as her true self. The Talent Show on Saturday night which
including a screening of the now famous <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzXYIRZiMiI">Bagel video</a>, a
performance of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0MVJPSNFKs">Dear RCA</a>,
a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mX2cedOo1g">nine minute standup</a>
by Dana Friedman, amazing singers, rappers, readers and performers, finalized
by an arranged marriage playout. Nevertheless, I already passed my 1,000-word
mark. Therefore, I will end here with one final episode.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Sunday morning before leaving, after the amazing </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 150%;">(perhaps best of the whole retreat) </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">session by
the all-time inspiring pioneer Shlomo Ashkinazy, recapping 45 years of LGBT advocacy,
we were sitting around and talking. Someone asked Rabbi Greenberg what his
response is when someone asks him how he can be a gay Orthodox Rabbi. His
response, mirroring his amazing personality, was simply crossing his legs and
arms and saying: <b>“Like this”</b>… This is the vision of a Jewish community
we were fostering and hoping to take home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>So from now on, if anyone is telling me that <u>Orthodoxy is never
going to “come around” I have an article that challenges that notion. I am not ‘joining’
Orthodoxy in believe or practice, but I can see myself ‘enjoying’ Orthodoxy. While
with limits as of now, redemption is better attainable that I thought.</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Thankful for the past, and hopeful for the future,</i></span></div>
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; line-height: 24px;">Abby @ </span><b style="line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The Second Transition</span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">Watch the wishes of Retreat participants: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_vH7kap8E2s/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_vH7kap8E2s?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Oh, ignore my Yiddish 5 seconds in it...</span></div>
Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-77322136156612997532015-11-26T02:57:00.001-05:002015-11-26T13:30:40.799-05:00That Night I Cried With the Trans Rabbi From Brooklyn<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“She weeps,
yea, she weeps in the night, and her tears are on her cheek; she has no
comforter among all her lovers; all her friends have betrayed her; they have
become her enemies.</span>”<br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> <b>
</b></span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span dir="LTR"></span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>Book of Lamentations</b> (<i>Eicha)</i>, 1:2<o:p></o:p></span></blockquote>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: center;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Four
years ago, around the time I started the first half of my transition - leaving
the Ultra-Orthodox community - a prominent rabbi from Brooklyn
contacted me. In a pretty nice way he tried to convince me about the ‘truth’ of
Ultra-Orthodoxy, claiming that he really only cares about me. In fact, he was
one of the only rabbis </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(they
were a lot of them involved) </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">who never tried to talk to anyone behind my back, knowing that if he really wants to
help he has to talk just to me. His arguments however, were just the typical
arguments used in these communities, such as showing how ‘holy’ our leaders
were and therefore they cannot be wrong. Later he moved on to more ‘sophisticated’
methods, such as trying to convince me that it is worth to stay Hasidic for
whatever reason, and so on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As you
all know, he had no success, I left the community. But, he was one of the only
people of my former community, who left some sweet taste in my mouth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Two
weeks ago Thursday, the day after I published my <a href="https://thesecondtransition.blogspot.com/2015/11/and-time-has-come-coming-out.html">Coming
Out</a> post, I got a lot of phone calls, like, a lot. I ignored most of them -
I was overwhelmed. Within the sea of missed calls, one number got my
attention. Not just for the fact that they called three times, and left two
voicemails, but because I recognized the number - it was the abovementioned
rabbi from Brooklyn. At first sight, I thought he just wants to give me another
‘nice’ speech about why it is just not worth for me to go forward with the
second part of transition, and live openly as the woman I am. After seeing how aggressively
they are trying to reach me, I decided that they are nice anyway, nothing to
lose, so I picked up when they called the fourth time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I need
to talk to you, <i>vie amshenelsten </i></span>[a Yiddish expression for ASAP]<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">” he half said, half screamed, half
cried </span>(I know, that’s three halves, but that is how it felt, confusing)<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">. To be honest I was terrified of his
tone, thinking, “Okay, he is not happy with what I am doing…” I tried to ask
him what he wants, but all he said was “I have to meet you.” It was after 10 at
night, so I told him, I will still be up for a while, and if he wants to come
up to the Upper West Side now, we can meet. He agreed, and said he will drive
up to meet. It was weird, and I was wondering what is so important for him to
drive to the City so late at night, but I still thought that he is going to try
to change my mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">At 11 o’clock,
on a chilly Thursday night we met on the streets of NYC.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">When he
arrived, I realized right away that it is not what I thought; he is not here to
convince me I should not transition. His eyes were red and full with tears,
and he was shaking. He asked me if I am okay with a hug, he hugged me, and starting
crying heavily. Only after a few minutes, I was able to understand what’s going
on. From in between his words of ‘I am lost’ ‘I cannot live like that anymore’ ‘you
have to help me’ ‘I tried suicide already’ and so on, I got the picture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: center; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">In short, He Came Out. He said that he has been struggling with gender
identity for the last forty years. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<u>(Note: I know that I should use different pronouns, but he preferred that
I use he/him/his for now)</u><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am not
going to share everything that we discussed in the next two hours, as we both
unraveled our life experiences living with <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_dysphoria">Gender Dysphoria</a>, in
a community that ignored our existence. They are private details, and for now, I
cannot share publically. I will just give a basic picture of his life </span>(as
approved by him)<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">: A child
raised in a typical Hasidic family in Brooklyn, went to the best <i>Yeshivot </i></span>[Jewish/rabbinical
school]<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">, and got married to a
nice girl from a rich family. After his wedding, he went to rabbinical school
where he was seen as a rising star in the world of <i>Kashrut </i></span>[the
industry that studies and overlooks the laws of food in the Orthodox world]<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">. After getting a rabbinical degree,
he went higher and higher in the field until he got to where he is today, one
of the most prominent authorities in the field. There was just one other part
that no one knew about him, he did not feel like a boy/man. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkhxIt-QDsGQGnVJtDxBfxzn-4ERZ_X1ob8mfpOHuzjfLNlzQ6WgGjTGIdaQtsq5MXPBRi0I1xnLq1qpzRlxYyoE8kYNIeGTUWqBV5OQTD-_6t7x6pAgi2z893MR9tSlIG3hOjvR0HhhE/s1600/FlashAnnotate-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkhxIt-QDsGQGnVJtDxBfxzn-4ERZ_X1ob8mfpOHuzjfLNlzQ6WgGjTGIdaQtsq5MXPBRi0I1xnLq1qpzRlxYyoE8kYNIeGTUWqBV5OQTD-_6t7x6pAgi2z893MR9tSlIG3hOjvR0HhhE/s320/FlashAnnotate-1.jpg" width="319" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>(could not resist adding this picture...)</i></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="color: red; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(Trigger warning: Suicide - Just the next paragraph)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: #00b0f0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We spoke in detail about out different yet similar struggles. There
was just one part where he struggled much more than I ever did; despair. While
I also felt hopeless most of my teenage years and early twenties, I never
considered suicide. He did, and had tried it twice, with the latest having been
just a few weeks ago. The first time he was away from home, and his family
never knew that it was a suicide attempt. The second one his wife knew. They went
to talk to a <i>Rebbe</i> </span><span style="color: #00b0f0;">[a spiritual
leader in the Hasidic world, believed to have some kind of stronger divine connection]</span><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> and he told them not
to see a ‘secular’ therapist, but rather take on to be more careful in observing
certain Jewish laws. No need to say that this did not change anything, he just
fall into even greater despair.</span><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“When I
read your post last night, I felt for the first time in my life that maybe
there is hope,” he said in tears - the first tears of the night that were not
purely sad. “I don’t think I can logistically do what you did. I have a family
of ten kids, some of them married, and I have grand kids,” he explained. From
the other side it was clear to both of us that if he just continues to suffer
in silent, his family will lose him anyway; there is no easy way in or out.
However, it was clear that just knowing that they are others like him within
our community, is an amazing relief. I did not know either what exactly I can
do to help, but I did convince him to start seeing a therapist </span>(to the
dismay of his <i>rebbe</i>, a secular one…)<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">, and by the time I publish this post, he has an appointment
with one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">During
the last two weeks, as I have already mentioned, a few people reached out with
similar experiences. The more people discussed it the more people reached out,
the more awareness we raise, the more people we can help. My meeting with this
rabbi that night was definitely the hardest encounter I had in the last few
weeks. When I reached out to him last week asking if I can write about it, he
agreed, knowing that this can help even more people. At the same time, we were
both aware that there is too much at stake for him if his identity comes out. Since
last week I wrote several drafts of this post, and after changing as many
identifying facts as possible while keeping the story 100% true, we both felt
comfortable enough sharing it. I am grateful to him for sharing it with me, and
now with the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Usually,
at the end of posts, I give a clear message to take away. This time I think
that there is so much to take away, that whatever I say would not do justice.
All I can say to the world as a whole, but especially to the Jewish/Orthodox world, is, <b><u>WE ARE HERE, AND WE CAN USE SUPPORT.</u></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;">On that
note, Happy Thanksgiving my dear readers!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: right; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; line-height: 24px;">Abby @ </span><b style="line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The Second Transition</span></i></b></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-4933680667990468692015-11-16T21:19:00.000-05:002015-11-16T22:35:18.429-05:00On Trans Visibility In the (Ultra)Orthodox World - Remembering Our Fallen<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: 14pt;"><i><u><b>Trigger
Warning:</b></u></i></span> <span style="font-size: x-small; font-style: italic;">Suicide, LGBT discrimination.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: white; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivzNSHngWY6frpEO0Uapzy7DyzYAvtolosAabEGUUHpzbnljzuw3vcXJPGoiMBGabmhyphenhyphenHrjpX8iOMS3ytnSYYR4bvOMk4BQDHfS49OaCSTM0KBJG70EVhgywFt3apQI6g46I0tou_kb6Q/s1600/May+Peleg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivzNSHngWY6frpEO0Uapzy7DyzYAvtolosAabEGUUHpzbnljzuw3vcXJPGoiMBGabmhyphenhyphenHrjpX8iOMS3ytnSYYR4bvOMk4BQDHfS49OaCSTM0KBJG70EVhgywFt3apQI6g46I0tou_kb6Q/s320/May+Peleg.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: white; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">“<a href="http://news.walla.co.il/item/2907052">May Peleg Friedman</a>, the Jerusalem Open House’s first
transgender Chairperson, put an end to her life this week at the age of 31.
Born into a world of religious tradition and gender conformity, May tried to
live as dutiful son, husband and father, while knowing, since age 4 that her
soul belonged in another type of body. News of her death came simultaneously
with that of the massacres in Paris. I cannot help but wonder if there is a
common root to both of these horrific acts, namely, a form of religious dogma
that causes us to see the world in strictly binary terms and gives rise to
violent hatred of those who fall outside of what we deem to be “holy”. The
violence permitted against the ‘unholy’ is in one case turned outward, and in
the other inward, but essentially they are the same. I was taught that the
purpose of religion was to increase our connection to creation, to community,
mercy and justice, but so often I see that the opposite is true. If there is a
God, Zhe is surely weeping…"</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background: white; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">- </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153677386314174&set=a.10150143378509174.297647.720854173&type=3&theater">Avi Rose</a></span></span></div>
<span style="background: white; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">
</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">When I
read this, I started to cry, really hard. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">In
addition to mourning the lose of a beautiful woman, there is so much more to it.
I have to admit, as much as I understand her struggle regarding identity and
being rejected by family and community in the name of religion and an "all
good all powerful" God, I do not understand the struggle with suicide. Thankfully,
I never had to struggle with that. Not because I was not in situations of
despair, it just never appealed to me as a solution. However, I know that we,
#Girlslikeus, people of Trans experience, have the highest rate of suicide when
faced with rejection. In addition to being the minority that is most
discriminated against in the Western World.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">This week is Trans Day
of Remembrance (Nov. 20th). In the last 5 days since coming out in public I was
remembered again and again, that we are still so invisible and misunderstood,
especially in the (Ultra)Orthodox Jewish world. I am really trying to do
whatever I can to raise awareness, simply about our existence. Right now, I
cannot even focus on acceptance in that world. 17 people reached out thus far
saying that they struggle - most of them it utter silence - with gender
identity, and most of them see no way out. Right now, we have to make sure that
every person of trans experience knows: </span><b><u><span style="color: red; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">They are others like you, and there is a whole world out there who
wants to except you for who you are.</span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Originally,
I wrote this just as a Facebook post, it is not that long. However, I decided to
write it as a full blog post so it can be shared easier. I never did that
before (and without that, this blog was shared more than 1.1k times just on
Facebook, and I am grateful for that) but now I feel that I have to do it. I am appealing to each and every
person who cares about us, who cares about our existence, PLEASE SHARE TO SPREAD THE
WORD. Please make sure that everyone who struggles, in the Ultra-Orthodox world
and beyond -you can never know who it is- knows that they are not alone. It is
a matter of life and dead, literally.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">It is
hard to know what else we can do to help. It is amazing to know that once
people can leave they are so many wonderful Jewish and universal entities that
can help, such as <a href="http://www.keshetonline.org/">Keshet</a>, <a href="http://www.eshelonline.org/">Eshel</a>, <a href="http://www.jqyouth.org/">JQY</a>, <a href="http://www.nehirim.org/">Nehirim</a>, and more, but up to that point it
is way harder. I cannot see the Ultra-Orthodox Communities accepting us in the foresee-able
future as much as I hope for that, and leaving is a whole transition for
itself. Therefore, for now, we ought to try our best to get visibility. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Also as a first step we started a Facebook support group for people of trans experience of an Ultra-Orthodox background. If you know anyone in that position, send them our way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Just an
endnote: I love open discussion, but for this post, due to the fragile nature
of the topic, I WILL DELETE every hateful comment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">If you,
or anyone you know is in danger, please reach out to <a href="http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/">National SuicidePrevention Lifeline</a> at 1-800-273-8255.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Wishing and hoping for all the best,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; line-height: 24px;">Abby @ </span><b style="line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The Second Transition</span></i></b></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-6479771063915342352015-11-15T14:59:00.003-05:002015-12-17T20:26:34.965-05:00Thank You World - Friday Night Reflection<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><span style="color: red;">"<b><i>When you transition, everyone kind of has to transition around you.</i></b>"</span></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaz_Bono">- Chaz Bono</a></span></span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 150%;"><b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 150%;"><b><u><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></u></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The last few days proved to me once
again that I surrounded myself with the best group of friends and allies a
human being can ask for. From the second I posted my “<a href="http://thesecondtransition.blogspot.com/2015/11/and-time-has-come-coming-out.html">Coming
Out</a>” post, positive support, enthusiasm, and admittedly shock, was pouring
in non-stop. In the form of Facebook, comments, messages, wall posts, and
likes, SMS, WhatsApp messages and phone calls, all with the same love, respect
and beyond describable support. If anyone ever says anything negative about
humanity as a whole, all I have to do is redirect them to these posts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Before I make some follow up points,
I want to re-post here what I wrote on Facebook on YouTube regarding last
Friday night. I still hope to write a longer reflection about my first ever
speaking engagement as myself, but for now, these are my initial thoughts: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; margin-left: .3in; margin-right: .3in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Last Friday night I missed the weekly services at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/romemu/?ref=stream"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Romemu</span></a>, for a good reason.
I had an amazing time speaking and engaging younger and older people at the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SOUTHORANGEUSY/"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">South Orange USY</span></a> Shabbaton.
It was an amazingly positive experience, and hopefully raised awareness for the
issues close to my heart, the ex-Hasidic community, and the experience of trans
people in the Orthodox and Jewish world, as well as all over the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; margin-left: .3in; margin-right: .3in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Turns out, I was there. I got to witness firsthand
what being part of a community, especially as amazing as Romemu, entails. My
dear Rabbi and mentor, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/rabbidavidingber"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">David Ingber</span></a>,
gave a heartwarming sermon about my experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; margin-left: .3in; margin-right: .3in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Every time I miss Friday night at Romemu I go back
after that to the archived LiveStream video, and listen to the sermon. As much
as I am pretty easy going in expressing my emotions and let tears flow lately,
I never ever had such an experience while watching something online.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; margin-left: .3in; margin-right: .3in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">From the beginning, Rabbi David retold my experience
in coming out to my father last week. Some of you might have realized that I
didn't mention anything in past days about my experience with my parents, and I
am going to keep it that way. However, anyone who listens to this sermon, can
get a sense of that experience, by thinking about Yakov (Jacob).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; margin-left: .3in; margin-right: .3in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am also amazingly honored that the inspiring quote
by Anaïs Nin that i used on Facebook and at the beginning of my blog post, was
mentioned in this sanctuary (at 13:42). It is so empowering, and needs to be
mentioned as much as possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; margin-left: .3in; margin-right: .3in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But above all, was being mentioned as "My dear
friend Abby" (14:40). While I see myself as a student of my dear Rebbe, I
was proud to be called a friend. Then the amazing singing of "True Collars,”
I have no words (thank you <a href="https://www.facebook.com/basya.schechter"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Basya Schechter</span></a> and
the musical team).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Thank you Rabbi and thank you Romemu. I want to
publish it </span><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">so <b><u><span style="color: red;">P</span></u></b><u style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: red;">eople should know that the world
is a great place. No matter how your community of origin, friends or family
treats you, it is important to know that there will always be people who will
accept you for who 'You' are, the true you.</span><o:p></o:p></u></span></div>
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<br /><iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5ybxvnm-CM/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/n5ybxvnm-CM?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><u><i>-Please feel free to share this video: </i></u></span><span style="color: blue;"><span style="line-height: 35.078px;"><i><u><a href="https://youtu.be/n5ybxvnm-CM">https://youtu.be/n5ybxvnm-CM</a>w</u></i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">They are several points and
reflections I want to talk about as a follow up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I got in the last few days over a 150 private messages
(FB, WhatsApp, SMS, Email) and that is in addition to the numerous comments on
Facebook on the blog. I want you all to know that I appreciate it, and thank
everyone who took the time to wish me all the best. However, as much as I tried
to response to as many as possible, the backlog is pretty backlogged. It might
take me a few days to respond to all of them, and if I don’t get to it, feel
free to reach out again. Just know that I saw them all, and am beyond grateful
(on FB I tried to like as many comments as possible).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A lot of people asked me, some in all seriousness some
in amore laughing tone when the <i>Kiddush </i>(a Jewish ritual were a Saturday
afternoon lunch is served as a way of celebrating an important life cycle, such
as the birth of a child, wedding, etc.) will be. So I want to get you all excited
and announce that yes, there will be one. It will be in one of the upcoming
weeks at <a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/romemu.org">Romemu</a>. It will be with a full Torah and name
change ceremony. It will also be the perfect time to celebrate in person with
all of you, in person. Exact date is still To Be Determined, so lookout!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I got several questions about my name, Abby, its
meaning, and why I chose it. First, I want to say that I am preparing a longer
article about that, where I hope to go into more detail. For now, I would just
say that I think the main part of a name is how it relates to ones self, so
above all, I relate to Abby, it just feels like me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The origin of the name is the
Biblical Abigail (or Avigail) who was King David’s wife (Book of Samuel). Its
literal meaning in Hebrew is “Father’s joy” (<span dir="RTL" lang="HE">אבי-גיל</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>),
which is part the same as my middle name given at birth - Abraham (<i><span dir="RTL" lang="HE">אב</span></i><span dir="RTL" lang="HE">רהם</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>). I love the joy part
of it, and to be honest, it is a great Hebrew name that is American enough… In
addition to that, I see it as a wish, as it could mean “My father (referring to
parents and ancestors as a whole) should be happy” (<span dir="RTL" lang="HE">אב-יגיל</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>).
I hope that with all this I can be a joy and source of happiness to my family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A comment about blog comments:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">While I would love to foster a free
and healthy uncensored conversation, I cannot afford to tolerate hate comments
and personal attacks on other people. You want to hate and talk against me,
enjoy, but leave others out of it. Obviously, the best way to get your message
across successfully is to talk about the ideas people said, and back up your
claims. Do not attack people, and do not just shout arguments without any
backing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Until next time, wishing you all the
best with everything in life!</span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; line-height: 24px;">Abby @ </span><b style="line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The Second Transition</span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-23633797995661224022015-11-11T22:25:00.000-05:002016-12-27T18:53:28.182-05:00And, The Time Has Come... COMING OUT!!!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;"><span style="color: purple; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><b>"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."</b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ana%C3%AFs_Nin" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;">A</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;">na</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 37.2px;">ï</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;">s Ni</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;">n</span></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I know that most people that are reading this, will be understanding and accepting. However, I still want to start with this inspirational quote, written as an opening to a Coming Out letter:</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Some of you might think that the information I share with you herewith is a joke. It's not. And comprehending this, in fact, may take a large portion of patience, understanding, and compassion. You are likely, in fact, to need a long time to fully process it."</span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCQQFjABahUKEwiwlZz07YnJAhVBJCYKHchLDK0&url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FJennifer_Finney_Boylan&usg=AFQjCNFjVlzLuSJiTEFIKfjCdLdb7fFUUw&sig2=vWv31EgHO9YnyakywGmPLg" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Jennifer Finney Boylan</a>, <i><a href="http://www.jenniferboylan.net/nonfiction/shes-not-there/" target="_blank">She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders,</a> Pg 171</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Growing up, I think we all try to remember our first memories, and we are being asked (especially in therapy sessions...) what our first memories are. I never answered this question honestly. I was terrified from my first memories, and for 20 years I was trying to run from it. One of the first things I remember about myself, is thinking, <i>Hey I am not a boy. </i>this thought, feeling, confliction, confusion, realization, is something that never left me. I had - as I figured out at the age of 20 - what's called today (and no, I don't like this 'diagnose') "<u style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/gender-dysphoria" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Gender Dysphoria</a>" </u>that is, when the gender assigned to an individual on their Birth Certificate is not who they are.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I can go on and write a lot about my horrible experience growing up. Not only was I confused, but as you all know, in the community that I was raised in, Trans did not exist, neither was it ever discussed. I was therefore convinced that I have to be crazy, and that I have to get this "stupidity" of feeling like a girl, out of my head. As always, this didn't work well for me. I can write some great SciFi about all the dreams - awake, I had of how I can "become a girl', but in my world, this was something that I knew I can never mention to anyone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">As a result, from the age of 14, I dealt with bad depression. I couldn't go a month without falling into total despair (I think anyone who was ever been in touch with me knows that they were always days that I just wasn't responding to anyone). I knew throughout this entire time where it comes from, but I had no idea how to deal with it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">At age 20 I left my community of origin. While my decision to leave was not based on being a woman, the urge to search and read 'outside of the box' was triggered by the feeling that <b>"I" </b>am not who I am.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxt8Nh-JxrKhyphenhyphengOi2KhSLcdwMkGdXvCE_NnR9PnCCMP1oyVyM1GsgDmvaTGYKQhSPFUBGpVh6-6UbViIKDG4meJkQUBv85s6xCasXWtQGZm-AQWqvvMjBHWDRoWHGW96p_NrQyiLWut6E/s1600/3x.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxt8Nh-JxrKhyphenhyphengOi2KhSLcdwMkGdXvCE_NnR9PnCCMP1oyVyM1GsgDmvaTGYKQhSPFUBGpVh6-6UbViIKDG4meJkQUBv85s6xCasXWtQGZm-AQWqvvMjBHWDRoWHGW96p_NrQyiLWut6E/s320/3x.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Being convinced that these feelings are crazy, I tried to convince myself that the problem is something else. I moved around in life trying to tell myself that getting out of the box, getting a job, getting an education, etc. will solve my problems. They were all great things, but I couldn't convince even myself to let go of the dream of living MY life. and let me tell you, lying to yourself is not pretty.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Skipping ahead. Finally, last spring, I went to see a gender specialist, after a few sessions, they told me pretty clear: You are a woman, and you ought to deal with that. Otherwise, nothing is gonna change.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My initial response was, as always, stop talking to them. I still couldn't face it, especially knowing that the road ahead is long and complicated. So as until now, I thought that ignoring it is the best way to deal with it (ya i know, stupid me). I went to <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CB4QFjAAahUKEwjZ6uyX74nJAhXGRiYKHRTUC_k&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ramahnyack.org%2F&usg=AFQjCNGdUluielBIU1TmWV5ZBzLqj9FkCQ&sig2=Zwfp4Gepx50JZVMqRw9N6Q" target="_blank">camp </a>over the summer pretending everything is fine. But as research has shown, ignoring Gender Dysphoria, only makes it worse, and I wasn't any different.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Finally in the beginning of August, I made the best decision in life, thus far: I went to see a primary physician, who specializes in Gender Affirmation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">September 4, 2015 is the day I will remember forever. The day I started HRT (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy" target="_blank">Hormone Replacement Therapy</a>). I have since taken a lot of steps towards transition. The road is long, but with the support of some amazing friends and professionals, for the first time in my life I feel like I am getting to be my real self.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In the last few weeks, I have slowly been coming out to more and more friends. I was lucky enough to get amazing support from all of my friends. I owe a special thanks to my 27 roommates at the<a href="https://sites.google.com/site/beitephraimhousecolumbia/" target="_blank"> Bayit</a> - Columbia University who have been an exceptional help. The professionals and members at <a href="https://gaycenter.org/wellness/gender-identity" target="_blank">The Center Gender Identity Project</a>, whom without I would Have not been able to get to where I am now. Rabbis David Ingber and Jessica Kate Mayer from <a href="http://romemu.org/" target="_blank">Romemu</a>, who showed me that Judaism and Transition are not only compatible but intertwined. My amazing doctor and medical team at <a href="http://apicha.org/" target="_blank">APICHA </a>Trans Health Clinic, who are patiently treating all their patients with love and compassion.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Last but far not least, each and everyone of my dear friends that I came out to in person, you have all been above and beyond supportive, Thank You!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Going forward I am looking forward to a challenging yet rewarding journey. I will hopefully keep all my friends in the loop, with all the details of transition, starting next week with an all out "Coming Out" video, keep an open eye!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Lastly, I want to say here, in clear and bold words to all humans out there who are going through similer experiences, and especially these of Ultra-Orthodox background:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"You can Do It!!! It is not going to be easy, but it is way easier than not transitioning. When you start to see the changes, and feel more comfortable with your body, you wouldn't stop loving yourself."</span> </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><i>Full of love, <img alt="💕" class="CToWUd" goomoji="1f495" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/e/1f495" style="margin: 0px 0.2ex; max-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle;" /></i></b></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">-- </span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: georgia, serif;"><b><i></i></b></span><b><i><span style="background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 14.72px;">(</span><span style="background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; color: #073763; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 14.72px;"></span><s><span style="background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 14.72px;">Srully Abe</span></s><span style="background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 14.72px;">)</span></i></b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: georgia, serif;"><b><i><div class="gmail_default" style="display: inline;">
Abby</div>
Stein<div class="gmail_default" style="display: inline;">
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<span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">Two online forums that I found really helpful:</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.8px;"><a href="https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php">Susan's Place</a></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.8px;"><a href="http://www.beginninglifeforums.com/">Beginning Life Forums</a></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.8px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-family: georgia, serif;">
------------------------------<wbr></wbr>------------------------------<wbr></wbr>------------------------------<wbr></wbr>--------------------</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-family: georgia, serif;">
Here is a post I wrote 2.5 years ago on this site: <a href="http://forum.beginninglifeforums.com/index.php/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">http://forum.<wbr></wbr>beginninglifeforums.com/index.<wbr></wbr>php/</a> </div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-family: georgia, serif;">
Just in case any of you find it interesting. I had since decided to ignore my feelings. and as you can see, it didn't help. ignore the spelling, please.</div>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: georgia, serif;"><i></i></span></div>
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<tr style="background: rgb(222, 226, 230); border-bottom-color: rgb(170, 170, 170); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; font-size: 10pt; padding: 2px;"><td colspan="2" style="background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(170, 170, 170); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px; padding: 2px;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; clear: both; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; width: 600px;"><tbody>
<tr style="background: rgb(222, 226, 230); border-bottom-color: rgb(170, 170, 170); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; font-size: 10pt; padding: 2px;"><td style="color: #202020; font-size: 8pt; margin: 0px; padding-right: 10px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap; width: 250px;"> <a href="http://forum.beginninglifeforums.com/index.php/u/2460/a499a2a724433f0ad795c20dccf4998c/" style="color: #006699; font-size: 10pt;" target="_blank">eve.d</a> <img alt="UNITED STATES" border="0" class="CToWUd" height="11" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEiHa13juh5RBU-4KmdIdozAIYE6Q-jEx5AgmlwElQomJ5p6cmnb8x4RWihMdKjcg7ThksWWAcE-2_1fSGsm5nRk426XqfnTHItdeJvC21Ytdmwr8ZiEMZg061OIycJFTZxcrAUEKYEZfxQpRO8aFpRCgjgDrNpRw1w=s0-d-e1-ft" style="border: 0px; font-size: 10pt;" title="UNITED STATES" width="16" /><br /><b>Messages:</b> 15<br /><b>Registered:</b> June 2012<br /><b>Location: </b>new york</td><td style="color: #202020; font-size: 8pt; margin: 0px; padding-right: 10px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap; width: 250px;"><div style="font-size: 8pt; padding: 2px; vertical-align: top; width: 250px;">
Newb</div>
</td><td style="color: #202020; font-size: 8pt; margin: 0px; text-align: right; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap; width: 250px;"></td></tr>
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" style="background: rgb(244, 244, 244); border-bottom-color: rgb(170, 170, 170); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px; padding: 2ex 1ex 1ex;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 1.4;">My story is like I wrote in my bio, I always felt I am not who I am, I had a lot female nature's, and was always dreaming of a "miracle" that will change me, due to the fact that until the age of 20 (a year ago) I didn't know that it exists a way of doing it in nature.</span><span style="font-size: 13.3333px; line-height: 18.6667px;">r thinking that way, something that a lot of people in my community do believe that if you are leaving the community life than you have a mantel disorder), so from the age of 14 I was looking </span><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 1.4;"><br />I didn't had any education outside my insular religious community, not even reading or spelling a word in English! (I learned the ABC's on my own by the age of 20..., I know it sounds unbelievable, and I grew up in NYC, if you are interest, here is an org. in NY that helps people leaving my community, so you can see on your own that it exist such a community in nyc <a href="http://footstepsorg.org/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">footstepsorg.org</a>) and of course I didn't know anything about LGBTQ at all.<br />but, I was always looking for "help" I felt something is missing in my life, and I wasn't able to know what is missing, about my sexuality I was convinced that something is wrong with me for even thinking about a gender change, but what I did know was that could be the true way of living my life is not the way I grew up (and I was smart enough not to think that I am crazy fofor answers on the questions I had on the belief system I grew up to believe in, and slowly I came to the conclusion that the world is free, and waiting for me to go out and live my OWN life.<br />mean while, by the age of 17 I got married in an arranged marriage, that by chance worked out, and I have a really good relationship with my dear wife, (sounds like I am a lesbian..) but the second she will know what's going on in my mind she will leave me, and 2 years ago I had a son.<br />and here I found it.<br />once I was a bit out, and I was able to search the web, I noticed, and I came to know that it does exist such a thing as transgender, and specially transsexual, in other words its possible for me to change all the way, and have the life and "body" I want, and feel I need.<br />but after all the way I grew up for 20 years wasn't rejected so fast, and for a year, although I was thinking about it, and I watch a huge amount of clips and vlogs from trans people, and I spent a lot of time reading about it, I still had an unexplained feeling that didn't let me say to my self, yes, you are transgender, and after all I wasn't sure that I am, I was saying to my self that maybe its just a natural male attraction to women, etc.<br />until I found this site: <a href="http://heartcorps.com/journeys/beginners/how-to-tell.htm" style="color: #006699; font-size: 10pt;" target="_blank" title="Opens in a new window">http://heartcorps.com/<wbr></wbr>journeys/beginners/how-to-<wbr></wbr>tell.htm</a> I read it, and everything was clear, I am trans, I have most emotional and physical signs, and its time to move forward.<br />but where? what's my next step? before I make a life time conclusion I need to make sure I am not fooling myself, I am still living in my community, where such an act will mean for me to lose "everything", from family to friends, my job and living space, where I am going what am I doing?<br />on education I found the above mentioned org., but on my sexuality who can help me?<br />and then I found this site.<br />I still don't know where my life will lead me' but it will definitely lead me to huge changes in "everything", and hopefully to huge success!!!</span> </td></tr>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com138tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-28792222742783216532015-09-06T20:25:00.000-04:002015-09-06T20:26:53.285-04:00I Started Hormones!!!!!!!<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 21.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>“You can prepare for something for as
long as you want, but when you get to it in reality, all hell breaks loose.”</b></span><br />
<blockquote style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="line-height: 115%;">What I wrote on FB four years ago when I was separated
from my ex, and started my </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">(first) </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">transition
out of Ultra-Orthodoxy.<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></blockquote>
</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 21.0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One thing that I always
loved about my culture of origin growing up, and still do until today, is the
wonderful and inspirational way we celebrate milestones. We have rituals and
occasions to celebrate the end and the beginning of the week, the beginning of
the new month and New Year. On top of these, they are the life cycle
milestones, such as celebrating births, birthdays, becoming an adult,
engagements and wedding, and even deathbed and mourning celebrations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For one milestone, I am
not aware of any celebrations in place yet: Finally aligning one’s outer and
inner gender. Most human being are lucky enough that they do not have to do it,
but for these who do, this is </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(arguably?) </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">the
biggest moment in life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><u><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">TODAY I CELEBRATE THIS MILESTONE!!!!</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After 20 years, I finally started Hormone Replacement Therapy </span>(HRT)
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This time I feel like the
quote I started with is true, in all its colors. As much as I prepared myself
for this moment for years, when it gets to it, all breaks loose. Just this time
I would replace hell with paradise. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Okay enough with the
aspiration; I believe most readers just want to hear the details.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">To be honest, I am
actually backlogged with three drafts. I am in the middle of writing three
different posts, updates about my transition:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“Coming Out #1” about my coming out to two of my
closest friends, as well as an old therapist, and a school faculty member.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“Clothing” my amazing adventures exploring new
feminine clothes!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“Going Out” about my experience going out the first
time in public dressed like myself </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">(aka, in girls clothes)</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">.</span></li>
</ol>
<!--[if !supportLists]--></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">They are all interesting
- at least to me - but after I got home on Friday with my new friends - two
bottles of pills, I decided that this belongs at the top of the page.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the last weeks, I
have been seeing a therapist that specializes in gender identity. It did not
take her long to <i>diagnose</i> me officially with “<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_dysphoria">Gender Dysphoria</a>”,
which in short means that my real gender and the gender assigned to me at
birth, do not add up; nothing news to me at this point. The next step was to go
see a doctor that specializes in that, and to <i>cure </i>the Dysphoria, by
starting the physical transition from male to female.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The last few weeks have
been hard on me emotionally, harder than at any other time in my life, and I
was eager to start ASAP. Also taking in account my age, every day that goes by,
and the unwanted male testosterone is free to work with my body, is a waste of
precious time. My biological clock is ticking in some way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Last week I finally got
to meet the doctor. I had made an appointment at some Trans health clinic in New
York, but the wait time for an initial visit was over six weeks, to long for my
nerves. Thankfully a few friends that I met at a Trans Women support group at <a href="https://gaycenter.org/">The Center</a> told me about <a href="https://apicha.org/">Apicha</a>, a wonderful Trans health clinic in the
Tribeca area of New York. I called them up, and got an appointment for the next
day. There I first met with two wonderful social workers, themselves Trans-woman,
who explained to me all the procedures, as well as offering me help with
everything I might encounter during the transition, from physical to mental,
and from name change to SRS </span>(Sex Reassignment Surgery)<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">. After meeting with them I finally
got to meet my doctor, who will become my primary physician. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The doctor I am seeing,
is just such a wonderful and amazing human being. Themselves part of the
gender-queer community </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(I
will refer to my doctor in third person pronouns ‘they/them/their’ as this is
what they prefer to go by)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">, they have a deep medical and emotional understanding of all my needs. After
some bloodwork, paperwork, and a short conversation about what’s about to
happen, I was ready. I knew pretty much what the effects of HRT will be. Some of
the side effects that my doctor mentioned were new to me, but none of them made
me reconsider it even slightly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I came back to the
doctor on Friday afternoon, they gave me three prescriptions. One of them wasn’t
new to me at all; 600Mg of calcium twice a day. The other two were medications
for which I was waiting my whole life <i><u><span style="color: red;">(Disclaimer:
Never rely on the exact doses that I write I got, or anyone else online.
EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and make sure to discuss with your doctor before starting
any of these medications)</span></u></i><span style="color: red;"> </span><a href="http://www.drugs.com/estradiol.html">Estradiol</a> 2Mg, and <a href="file:///D:/Documents/Spironolactone">Spironolactone</a> 50Mg, both twice a day. The Estradiol
I got a sublingual pill – one that dissolves in the mouth, so it should now go
through the metabolism, as it can affect the liver, and the Spironolactone is a
standard oral pill.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">To give a short explanation
of what these medications are, and their functions: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.5in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Estradiol</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> is Estrogen – a female hormone. It is
what will cause my breasts to grow, soften my skin, redistribute my body fats
from a male to female pattern, and make my scalp hair grow faster, thicker, and
shinier. The most visible parts will be the breast, the hips, facial features </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(mainly the shape of the eyes)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">, hair growth, and body shape. As
well as several other minor changes. It will also effect sexual sensitivity and
reaction, slowly transforming from a male sexuality </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(concentrated in the penis, quick
orgasms, more physical than emotional etc.)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> to a female sexuality </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(more spread out through the whole body, slower and longer orgasms,
more emotion involved, etc.)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">. To be honest, I am kind of really looking forward to that…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.5in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Spironolactone</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> is a Testosterone blocker. Testosterone
is what builds all the masculine features in a man’s body. This medication will
slow down the growth of body hair, weaken and finally fully kill the male
reproductive system. It will also end the loose of hair usually cost by
testosterone, it will stop the sweating that men usually have, change the smell
of the body, and several other changes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Together they both
enhance each other for maximum feminization of the body. You can also read more
on the Wikipedia page about “<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy_(male-to-female)">Hormone
replacement therapy (male-to-female</a><u><span style="color: #1f497d; mso-themecolor: text2;">)</span></u>” that gives a very detailed explanation of
the process.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I feel like I want to
write more about the feelings I had and the thoughts that crossed my mind, as I
swallowed the first pills. However, I know myself to well, I am crying just when
I am thinking about it </span></i><i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(oops, how could I forgot this, one ‘side effect’ of HRT is that I cry
way more)</span></i><i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">. I
could say, that it took me 10 minutes before I actually took them, I was
shaking and crying. After all, it was one of the most significant moments in my
life thus far,<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For now I am not
expecting any quick changes in the next week. So far the only two side effects
I felt was having to urinate a lot, and extra sweating. The sweating is already
almost gone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Above all, the physiological
effect </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(although that
might also be hormonal, I think that it is too early to say that it already had
an affect) </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">has been
amazing. I am a lot calmer, and more productive then I have been in the last
few weeks (</span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">as you can
see by the fact that I wrote a whole three page blog post)</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">, and I feel way more comfortable
with myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the next few weeks, as
the affects start to come in, I will try to update weekly on the changes I will
notice. I will try to report in short to the point </span>(not inspiring stories
;) <span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">details. I can expect to see
differences in hair growth, nipples, as well as mood swings, within a week, so
there will be a lot to report about. Also, I will have every excuse to be
bitchy, so watch out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thanks for reading and will see you
people next week!!!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 24px;">A Girl @ </span><b style="line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The Second Transition</span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; text-align: right;">Please follow me on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/evediamondcd">Facebook</a> and
<a href="https://twitter.com/secondtrans">Twitter</a> for constant life updates.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-29748836227896110992015-08-30T22:40:00.001-04:002015-11-17T00:46:46.121-05:00The realization: It Is Time for The Second Transition<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: .5in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<h2>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">
“We will describe
the world from the woman’s point of view such as it is offered to her, and we
will see the difficulties women are up against<u> just when trying to escape
the sphere they have been assigned until now.</u>”</span></h2>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">
-<span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]--><span dir="LTR"></span></span><b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simone_de_Beauvoir">Simone DeBeauvoir</a>, <i>The Second Sex</i></span><o:p></o:p></b></h3>
</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: .5in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">There
is something amazingly relieving about ‘knowing’, knowing and coming to terms
with the reality I have been trying to run away from for years - I am a girl.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Since
I remember myself, I wanted to wake up one day as a girl. I was very far from
the typical ‘masculine’ boy, even in a community where masculinity is not a
discussion topic, so to speak. I was never interested in typical boy stuff, and
I was always told that I act, and talk with the manners of a girl. On top of
all this, I would have all different kind of imaginations how I can be a girl.
Yet, until I was 19, I did not know that there is even something like that -
someone assigned boy at birth who is actually a girl, in mind and spirit. To me
this says something deeper. No one put this idea into my head. Something
internal told me that the <i>Me </i>is not the - successful - boy it appears to
be. The <i>Me </i>was a trapped girl. I was convinced, or rather convinced
myself that I am crazy for having these weird thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Let
me backtrack for a minute, and write in form of one paragraph, what the
community I was raised in was like - in my personal experience (being aware
that some people in the community might have had a different experience):<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/Desktop/Finally!/First%20Post.docx#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 115%;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: -.1in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Ultra-Orthodox Judaism believes that are whole
life has to be devoted to God, <b>and </b>that we have to shun the outside
world. Growing up this belief affected and dedicated my life in every small
part of life. I was raised in New York City, not being able to have a
conversation in English, my first and only (conversational) language was Yiddish,
and the extent of my secular education was solving a long division. We had no
access to anything related to popular culture, such as movies, TV, magazines, music,
or theater (the first time I watched a Broadway show was at the age of 23). Marriage
- an arranged marriage - is standard procedure at around age 18 (if you are
still single at 20, you are <i>sadly </i>old).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: -.1in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This is a miniature description of the community
I was raised in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: -.1in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Back to my story: Feeling like a girl, was not
only something I could not explain, but also something I was convinced is a
sign that I am insane. Therefore, I never ever mentioned it to anyone in the
world. For myself, I had all different kind of imaginations how this would be
possible. I did not know any science, and for a while, the only possible solution
seemed being born again. I can write a whole novel on how I drew this scenario in
my mind…. (Who knows maybe it will make a best seller). Other times I would
imagine having a full body transplant (I did know that much about medicine),
and I had a whole collection of books and (Yiddish) newspaper articles about different
organ transplants, hoping that with all of them combined I can have a full body
“transplant” from male to female. At the same time, I hated myself for thinking
like that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: -.1in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">However, running from one’s self, is, besides exhausting,
impossible, and overtime I learned that it is dangerous - mentally and
physically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: -.1in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">At the age of 20, I was, in outside appearance, a
Hasidic Jew, a Husband, and a father to a two beautiful kids, but none of these labels felt like <i>ME</i>.
I had questioned my faith for a long time, and at that point, I was almost
fully an atheist. Now, while my questioning religion in several different ways
had nothing to do with my gender identity, I do think it was triggered by an
inner discomfort with myself. I felt that something is off, but I convinced
myself that it cannot be that I am a girl, and therefore I was searching for something
else. Throughout the whole time of my (what I call now -) <i>First Transition</i>,
the process of leaving the Hasidic community, I knew that as much as I do not
identify with my community, I also do not identify with my given gender. Nevertheless,
as the wonderful <b><a href="http://www.jenniferboylan.net/">Jennifer Boylan</a></b>
puts it in <i><a href="http://www.jenniferboylan.net/nonfiction/shes-not-there/">She’s Is Not There: A Life in Two Genders</a></i>, I convinced myself
that “<u>How is it possible that you can could believe, with such heartbroken
convection, something that, on the surface if it, seems so stupid?</u>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: -.1in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">For that time being, I taught myself to believe
that once I leave the community, and I do the - with no doubt necessity - transition
into the secular world, I will get over this “stupidity” of being a girl. I had
to believe so, because as hard as it was to leave the community, I could not
imagine how it would be to leave the male gender. Mentally and physically, I
would not have survived, if -while going through the aches of leaving the
community and starting my life from scratch - I had known that there is a <b>second</b>,
longer, and harder transition awaiting me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: -.1in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">So, three years ago I was finally living full
time in the secular world. Life was great. I started school, and I was trying
to be happy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: -.1in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">That is when reality - in form of dark mental
periods, and the incapacity to continue living as a man - hit me. I learned it
the hard way: I CAN NOT RUN FROM MYSELF.<span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in -0.1in 6pt 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>I am a girl, and if I ever want to have a normal life, it is
as myself.</u></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: -.1in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: justify;">This is in short the background story that brought me to the
realization that I have to start </span><b style="text-align: justify;"><i><span style="color: #e06666;">The Second Transition.</span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">On that and on the amazing steps that life has for me in the next few
months and years, I will write here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I hope to write a weekly update post on how the transition is going, as
well as reflection post from time to time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am writing for two main reasons:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
</div>
<ol>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: -0.25in;"></span><span style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: -0.25in;">For myself: it helps me tremendously to come to terms with what
I am going through.</span></span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: -0.25in;"></span><span style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: -0.25in;">For others: they are so many people, of every community and race
that struggle with these issues, and I hope that sharing my experience will
help other people with their experiences.</span></span></li>
</ol>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 150%;">Comments here, or by </span><a href="mailto:chavidiamondcd@gmail.com" style="line-height: 150%;">email</a><span style="line-height: 150%;">, are warmly welcomed!</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">With Love and Hope,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">A Girl @ </span><b><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The Second Transition</span><o:p></o:p></i></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large; line-height: 150%;">PS: I also started recording monthly transition videos, but as I don’t
have to courage to come out yet, I will have to publish them when I am ready.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div>
<!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><br clear="all" />
<hr align="left" size="1" width="33%" />
<!--[endif]-->
<br />
<div id="ftn1">
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/Desktop/Finally!/First%20Post.docx#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 115%;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">I am not going to go more into my community background. It is a
long conversation, and it will take away the focus from my “Second Transition”
that I want to talk about on here. Maybe one day I will get to write more about
my “First Transition.” </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">For now, here is a short
incomplete list for these who want to explore this topic further.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">Two of my friends published
books on this subject, generally called going </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Off_the_derech"><i><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">Off The
Derech</span></i></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">,<i> </i>Derech is Hebrew for path):</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://www.shulemdeen.com/"><b><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">Shulem Deen</span></b></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">, wrote an amazing
book about his experience, called </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/All-Who-Go-Not-Return/dp/1555977057"><i><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">All Who Go Do Not Return</span></i></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">. His story
is the closest to my experience growing up.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leah_Vincent"><b><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">Leah
Vincent</span></b></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">, wrote her own experience in the
well written </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Cut-Me-Loose-Salvation-Ultra-Orthodox/dp/0143127411"><i><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">Cut Me Loose</span></i></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">Also, check out the wonderful
life saving organization, </span><a href="http://footstepsorg.org/"><b><i><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;">Footsteps</span></i></b></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; line-height: 115%;"> which helps people
raised in Ultra-Orthodox communities transition out. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 3.0pt;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-6873036232176438142015-08-27T16:33:00.002-04:002015-08-27T16:37:15.672-04:00Introduction<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">There are a lot of good books about people like me now. There are memoirs and textbooks by Jamison Green, Leslie Feinberg, Helen Boyd, LaDonna Rose, Susan Stryker, Julia Serrano, Chaz Bono, Deborah Rudacille, and many, many others. All of these stories have helped change trans issues from something extraordinary to something more commonplace, from a single, simple narrative to a series of messier ones, moving up toward s time when, as Robert Hunter once wrote, "things we've never seen will seem familiar."</span> </span></div>
</blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">- <strong><em>She's Not There: A Life In Two Genders</em></strong></span></div>
</blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
</span><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This amazing book by my hero </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennifer_Finney_Boylan"><span style="font-size: large;">Jennifer Finney Boylan</span></a><span style="font-size: large;"> is heart warming to me, and I believe it is to everyone who is going through transition. As s he writes, today we have more resources, and more stories were written then ever. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">However, I feel that in my case, No one has ever written about this combination. There is a lot out there written about the <em>Off the Derech</em> community - people leaving the Ultra-Orthodox Jewish world, and there is a lot written about people transitioning into living their respective self-identified gender. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">But I haven't found anything written about a dual transition.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Therefore, I have decided to start a blog, and write down my own personal experience, and weekly updates. It will help me foremost reflect on my experiences, and hopefully help others in where ever they are in life.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong><u>I hope to post the first post tomorrow!</u></strong></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-59098531994752833182015-05-14T23:07:00.000-04:002016-11-15T21:32:38.043-05:00Reflections on the Core: Epilogue - The Romantic Revolution<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> <i> I am starting the read this book, and it already feels like a great dessert to the amazing "Contemporary Western Civilization" course I took this year.</i></span></div><blockquote class="tr_bq"><div style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">... “But the relationship between the between the two cultural paradigms has always been a dialectical, not cyclical. The romantics were not repeating their ancestors. On the contrary, they brought about a cultural revolution comparable in its radicalism and effects with the roughly contemporary American, French, and Industrial Revolutions.</span></b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">By destroying natural law and by reorienting concern from the work to the artist they tore up the old regime's aesthetic rule book just as thoroughly as any Jacobin [a 18th century political French club] tore down social institutions. In the words of Ernst Troeltsch: "Romanticism too is a revolution, a thorough and genuine revolution: a revolution against the respectability of the bourgeois temper and against a universal equalitarian ethic: a revolution, above all, against the whole of the mathematico-mechanical spirit of science in western Europe, against a conception of Natural Law which sought to blend utility with morality, against the bare abstraction of a universal and equal Humanity." [Unquote Troeltsch]</span></b></div><b><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As will be argued in the subsequent chapters, it was Hegel who captured the essence of this revolution in his pithy definition of romanticism as "absolute inwardness" [absloute Innerlichkeit - in German - אינערליכקייט]. It will also be argued that its prophet was Jean-Jacques Rousseau: if not the most consistent, then certainly the most influential of all the eighteenth-century thinkers.</span></b></div></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Writing in 1907, Lytton Strachey caught Rousseau's special quality very well: "Among those quick, strong, fiery people of the eighteenth century, he belonged to another world -- to the new world of self-consciousness, and doubt, and hesitation, of mysterious melancholy and quiet intimate delights, of long reflexions amid the solitudes of Nature, of infinite introspections amid the solitudes of the heart." Percy Bysshe Shelley, who derided the philosophes as "mere reasoners," regarded Rousseau as "a great poet."</span></b></div></span></b></blockquote><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>-</b></span> Tim Blanning, The Romantic Revolution, pg. XVI-XVII</i></div><br />-----------------------------------------<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I am not new the philosophy, and neither to enlightenment. However, until this year when I took this amazing course covering all its classics from Plato and The Greeks, Epicurus, Epictetus, and the Bible, to Friedrich Nietzsche, Sigmund Freud, William E. B. DuBois, and the Frankfurt School - until now, I knew about it, but I did not know it. Now, at least I know what I don't know. It gave me the basics skills on how to go on and read, analyze and understand on my own the philosophical mind of our human kind, and how to look at the world and its civilization/s. </span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: center;">Yet, that is when I realized that something is missing.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> We read all about the Scientific Revolution, all which brought about the American and French Revolutions that with no doubt were a clear effect of the mind blowing thinkers who implanted the ideas on what they were build. In turn, these events are what make up "Contemporary Western Civilization." BUT, there is so much missing. If that is all, than we get the clear feeling that this is over. It looks like the times when great thinkers led the masses are over. I read lately Al Gore’s amazing book “The Assault on Reason,” that cries out on the lack of intelligence in today's politics and public civic discourse, and it is almost heart breaking. We are taught that all these great revolutions that got us out from the so called "Dark Ages" were a direct result of the power of reason and critical thought (and with no doubt, they were), and today, so many do not adhere to that. Our masses our moved by art, not by philosophy.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> Here I think I found the missing piece, and the answer. The Romantic Revolution (that I only started to read), seems to offer a great epilogue to all these critical thinkers, and a beacon of hope for our future. This part of the 17-18th centuries revolution, that arguably, is now at its peak, is missing from the classical education of contemporary thought. Yet when added, adds it all up. I guess we need to focus on that more, and adore it more.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></span></span><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> On a more personal level, I think the romantic revolution is the answer to the New Age Atheists (to quote Rabbi Arthur Green in Radical Judaism: Rethinking God and Tradition) who cannot grasp how and why, in the age of reason, people will still run after religion, almost in a fanatic way. Over a century after Nietzsche rightfully declared the "Dead of God," at a time that denying evolution is not faith, but rather ignorance, religion seems far from death. Again and again, people who openly declare that they don't really believe in any kind of traditional God/s (a great account on that can be found in the above mentioned Radical Judaism), go after religion. In classic philosophy, that doesn't make any sense.</span></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: center;">Is it really simply ignorance?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> I think this book, and train of thought can provide some kind of baseline thinking, and a wonderful approach and how to approach it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> We romanticize religion not because we want to stick to an old time faith based on divinity, revelation, and superstition, but because we follow enlightenment. In addition to the Political Revolutions, the Scientific Revolution, the Philosophical Revolution, we have to take into account the Romantic/Artistic Revolution. Here he got the full picture.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> These are just my thoughts after reading a bit, I will look on this as a pre-view., and a potential topic for a in depth exploration of "The Death of God: The Rebirth of Religion."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> Yes, in ideal we can get rid of the old fashioned name calling such as God and religion altogether. But Romanticism is teaching us to art value of it. Using these old names is not old fashioned, but rather an enlightened fashion.</div></span><div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>* Note: this is a long post that might look annoying to some. I think that a lot of people wouldn't know what the heck I want, but I had to share my thoughts. *</i></span></div></div>Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104175377510698539.post-14296185799205993422015-04-02T22:05:00.000-04:002016-11-15T21:32:38.068-05:00Pre-view of Shulem Deen's All Who Go Do Not Return<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: .5in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;"><b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">“I wasn’t the first one to be expelled from our village, though I’d never known any of the others. I’d only heard talk of them, hushed reminiscences of ancient episodes in the history of our half-century-old village, tales of various subversives who sought to destroy our fragile unity. The group of Belzers who tried to form their own prayer group, the young man rumored to have studies the books of the Breslovers, even the rebbe’s own brother-in-law, accused of fomenting sedition against the rebbe.<br /> </span></b><b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> But I was the first to be expelled for heresy.”</span></b></blockquote><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: .5in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>- Shulem Deen, All Who Go Do Not Return, Chapter one</i><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I cannot think of any better paragraph that one could have used when starting to write, and read, a book about this community. It captures in depth the essence of the Hasidic life style today as a whole, and even more specifically the one of New Square. It shows what they value, and it shows where their heads are. While I do not know if Shulem chose these three examples (Belz, Breslov, Rebbe’s brother in law) direct, it is interesting that two of them are people that without them there would have been no New Square.<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/All%20Who%20Go%20Do%20Not%20Retuen.docx#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="line-height: 115%;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> Yet, the second generation has no problem expelling them. This view of ‘we have a goal (in this case - ensuring the kingdom of Duvid Twersky, AKA the Rebbe) and everything, regardless of morals and ethics is okay in order to get there,’ is something that speaks a lot about 20<sup>th</sup> century Hasidic society. After that, they struggle with something they cannot grasp - Heresy. The irony is amusing.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I refused, until today, to pick up this book, knowing that I will not be able to put it down, and you know, School. Now, for the traditional Jewish celebration of freedom, I am starting to read it. I know that I will not acquire any freedom in my mind while reading it, and reliving my own experience. From what I understand, knowing bits and pieces of Shulem’s story and from what I read in reviews, All Who Go Do Not Return is, thus far, doing the best - written - job in reassembling my own life experiences. There is something exceptional about reading a memoir and relate to it in so many ways, it takes you over. Henceforth, I believe that it helps reflect on one’s own experience, and get a purer image of the past, and through that, a greater vision on the future.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> I am not from New Square, but I did live for three years in the Village of Kaser. I was not part of the Skver’er sect, but I was part of a scat that is strikingly similar - Vizhnitz. From this standpoint, Shulem’s experience in the cult(ure) of New Square is one that I strongly relate to. Even more, Skver is/was part of my identity; it is in my blood - literally, something that I will never be able to run away from, my family heritage is, and should be un-exchangeable. In addition, I was raised with an extremely romanticize view of New Square and his late founder, my uncle <i>“The Skverer Fether”</i> with whom my paternal grandfather has an excessive fascination. So, I feel closely related to this place - which at the current point in my life, I strongly abject. Yet, I cannot run away from the deep two fold - emotional and intellectual - interest to read a firsthand experience, written by such an amazing fellow.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> Shulem’s writings were among the first so called “OTD (- Off The Derech) Blogs” that I read when I was on my way out. I have a tremendous respect for his intellect, and even more the work that he is doing for our community.<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/All%20Who%20Go%20Do%20Not%20Retuen.docx#_ftn2" name="_ftnref2" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="line-height: 115%;">[2]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> When I first met him, it felt like meeting a celebrity, but I quickly realized that he as down to earth and ready to help a new comer, as much as possible and beyond. Shulem was the first person, with whom I discussed Richard Dawkins’ book The God Delusion, it was an amazingly informative conversation, and some of it guides me until today. In addition, I only realized after that how amazing he was at listening to my fresh perspectives, at a time that most of my reflections were narrow minded, and even foolish. He was talking to me as if I am equivalent to him in the subject; this is a skill that I admire most.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> All of the above are my overall reflections that I encounter when I am ascending on the journey of reading, and re-experiencing this book. This whole post might sound weird to some people, but I felt the need to express them, so to get the most out of it. I contentedly think that every article, and obviously so much more, book, that is being written on these insular communities, and the experience of these leaving it, is another crack in the iron curtain. This is not just a memoir that tells an inspiring story, but it is another step towards making the Jewish world, and the whole world, a better and freer space. Take my post not as a review, but rather a pre-view of All Who Go Do Not Return, what I personally hope to get out of it, and hope it will effectively help others.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> Now I can go read, feel, experience and reflect, And maybe write a re-view on my pre-view. </span></div><div><hr align="left" size="1" width="33%" /> <!--[endif]--> <div id="ftn1"> <div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .1in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.1in;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/All%20Who%20Go%20Do%20Not%20Retuen.docx#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="line-height: 115%; vertical-align: baseline;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a>. The Belz’e Hasidim in America clinked with the late Skver’a Rebbe being that his wife was one of the only three grandkids of the previous Belz’a Rebbe that survived the holocaust. After the war (and in some sense already after world war I) there were only a handful of original Skver Hasidim that survived, and most people that identified with the late Skver’a Rebbe were new comers, with a big percent of them being Belz Hasidim. When New Square was founded many of the Belz Hasidim helped out, and where among the very first residence. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .1in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The Rebbe’s brother in law is the Rabbi Chai Yitzchak Twersky of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rachmastrivka_(Hasidic_dynasty)" title="Rachmastrivka (Hasidic dynasty)"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Rachmastrivka</span></a>, son in law of the late Rebbe. He was his father in law right hand and go to person when he founded New Square, and he was the one who helped the current Rebbe take power after his father passed away.<o:p></o:p></span></div></div><div id="ftn2"> <div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .1in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.1in;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/All%20Who%20Go%20Do%20Not%20Retuen.docx#_ftnref2" name="_ftn2" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="line-height: 115%; vertical-align: baseline;">[2]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a><span class="MsoFootnoteReference">. First with his sites, like his blog, and later on by founding <a href="http://www.unpious.com/"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Unpious</span></a> - Voice of the Hasidic Fringe, that gave a voice to the unheard and sometimes silenced voices. As well as his numerous articles in several online magazine that raised awareness to issues unique to our OTD community. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .1in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.1in;"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In addition to that he joined the board of the our amazing lifesaving organization “<a href="file:///C:/Users/User/SkyDrive/Documents/footstepsorg.org"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Footsteps</span></a>,” which helps so many individual make a health and safe self-determined transition from into the world. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .1in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.1in;"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoFootnoteText" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .1in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.1in;"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Just as a note: this post was written as an assignment for a class at Columbia University.</i></span></span></div></div></div>Abby Steinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281596309476294673noreply@blogger.com1